1.30.2010

case studies .


December 28th 2008 , New York . 1:56 am
ill pay for the ticket . ill pay for the subway ride for love ... & destination: straight to hell . you do what you do and pray that God doesnt hold you too accountable . truth be told , it's cold outside & love aint done nothin but strip me of my clothes . now a nigga butt naked, bare and freezin , beggin' for a bit of affection . well, im done with the projects of love . im movin' on up and into the comfort and warmth of selfishness .

February 14th 2009 , Los Angeles . 9:14 pm
mm hmm, One day . One day he'll surprise me with lillies and he'll know that they're my favorite . I can imagine his red sweater to match my red sweater (with sparkly shoes of course) and we'll make people look forward to something . we'll make people sigh when they see us live in each other . we'll make people warm with hopes of us . we'll make people look forward to a love like ours from their windows . walking down the beach and taking in the moon with our breaths . people will stare from their beach house windows . i wish i wasn't staring out of mine . . .

May 09th 2009 , Orlando . 7:45pm
...but im not the 'relationship type' . i may be the 'good girl' and i may have some principle ... but i dont believe that a real relationship can breathe with society shoving a pillow in it's face . Everything he's saying sounds like violins and 808's . Everything he is looks like disneyworld . No dark . BUT, i have scars from broken promises . it took years to cover them, and here he is . i cant help but think he has a razor blade behind his back .

July 12th 2009 , Chicago . 10:13am
Im painting today . Im painting the scars of his past because i like his present . I never like to hold things against a guy , but the tongue . the tongue of this town is sharp and cutting me with his accusations . im standing in front of him with my arms wide open , taking any slashing i can . im standing in front of his character, taking the stones of the people in their glass mansions . yet, he has no idea & he wont because ill be his rock . i don't even know em like that , but i know the butterflies in my stomach . i know them intimately .

November 21st 2009, Dallas . 2:15pm
i know all i need to , shit . i don't care what was said . i don't care what you think you heard . i don't care about the arguments or the speed bumps . i don't know what toothpaste he uses in the morning, and i don't need to know if that's a birthmark or scar ...yet . my soul twinkles at the mention of his name . you ever seen the stars out here ? yes . my spirit and these stars are simply Siamese & i am in bliss . ill take the ignorant bliss if that's all that left in the world ... whatever it is, it feels like something real .

January 30, 2010, Atlanta . 4:30am
we are simply characters . our settings change constantly and we are picked up by our wardrobe ...placed in a scenario and told, "ACTION !" we scrabble like lab rats trying to finish the maze hoping that the other is at the end, holding a happy ending in their hand . our souls are partners . they can place us in any maze and my soul will listen for your heartbeat ...pushing through any curve ball they throw . our frustration . our circumstances . the obstacles ...create smoke . sometimes i want to stop where i am cause im exhausted . please don't give up on a tired soul .


- so many thoughts, feelings, people, and perspectives . ironically enough, we all fit in somewhere ...even if it's in between . ironically, love is schizophrenic enough to make you feel all of these at once , smh .

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