Now, i rarely endorse musical artists on my blog unless they move me into some weird alternate universe. To put it simply, COCAINE 80'S is a collaboration of brilliant melodic proportions. It's like a musical smoothie with " No I.D., Common, Steve Wyreman, Rob Kinelski, Kevin Randolph, James Fauntleroy, Makeba and many more." I cannot stress enough how much these guys are dope. I could try, but you should hear for yourself:
cocaine 80's "the pursuit EP"
cocaine 80's "the pursuit EP"
If you let men tell it, the dreaded “friend zone” is a romance death trap – a place equipped with pressure-censored grenades planted in the floor and laser beams that melt men’s skin off their flesh. Let men tell it, the “friend zone” is a no-man’s land crowded with BFF’s who hold girls’ purses at the mall and get late night phone calls about the men she is actually dating.most women, however, have a different outlook:Contrary to popular belief, the friend zone is indeed dangerous, but can ultimately be worth the trouble. Some men enter the friend zone and become lost in a sea of lifetime movies and Kleenex tear moments. They couldn’t see when the lines between “my male companion” and “my home girl with a penis” began to mix. Then, they’re stuck. I, however, commend men who are brave enough to maneuver throughout the friend zone. If done correctly, big wins are upon you.One: a guy that she would never give the time of day (that could be for numerous reasons from unattractive in some way to bad hygiene). Two: a guy that she will hang out with from time to time Three: a guy that she would like to spend time with, get to know, and let them know her. (Now, some guys could care less about any of that because .. well .. they simply want the physical. But that’s an entirely different post). The difference between two and three is companionship. If a man can use the friend zone to his benefit, then he’s winning. It may seem kind of conniving, but it only makes sense. the friend zone can work! Point. Blank. Period.
You killed the poet in me.
She cracked in half when the color faded
Slippery Sliding down a black hole of blank,
When emotions as she knew it, grew jaded.
The girl made of sugar and spice died
Last Last Winter when the floors froze
And so did hearts. Where the warmth
In her soul went, no one knows.
Or maybe we do, because heartbreaks stack
And flowery language is plucked and sold.
Metaphors are massacred and buried in unmarked graves-
When passion is paralyzed, no stories are told.
You killed the poet in me,
She drowned in a sea
Of lies and tides
“But you have yet to say it all,
There’s more life to be lived
There’s agape to give.”
*dedicated to every artist who ever felt like their well was running dry.
He sat across from me, broken. Yes. He sat across from me, his spirit just as broken as his bloodied hand. I rose from the cushioned stools my-grandmother-with-dignity gave me and walked to the freezer for ice. I pulled the handle on the freezer door, stopped, considered the chilly state of things …and then preceded back to my marble counter- back to my man, back to my shit storm.
She came back from that freezer door lookin’ all gentle-like. She looked like the first time I met her – soft and tender like love oughta look. But I aint fallin’ for that shit again. Nah, with time I have learned to call out a snake wrapped in diamon’ ribbons when I see one. Yeah she love ta’ slither and be pretty all right. She’ll strike ya’ when ya back turned. Mmm hmm, that’s a snake alrigh’.
I told him that it wasn’t intentional, that I just found something worth holding onto. My mind was battling for my attention. On one hand, I wrapped my million dollar- ivy league words around his head like a python preparing the prey. On the other, I wondered who would pay for the destructive hole in my periwinkle walls. He iced his hand and I told him about the man I was leaving him for. That night ... I helped ice his hand and his heart.
So, my friend and I were talking about the protests taking place all across the country. Hopefully, you have seen or heard about the “Occupy Wall Street” movement (and locally, the "Occupy Atlanta" protests). Of course I began to think of the greed and materialism that America evokes in all of us, but that's a given. BUT then I started to think about the other disappointing aspects of my country:
We just celebrated a holiday that commemorates a man’s ignorance and elitism. Columbus claimed land that was not his while spread disease and discomfort amongst millions of Native Americans. He exploited their agricultural brilliance and resourcefulness to dehumanize them. Most importantly, Columbus’ colonization paved the way for numerous other countries after him. If you think colonization and imperialism is a thing of the past then you are sadly mistaken. Some economically weaker countries are still under the dictation of other countries and/or suffering from the effects of colonization (Somalia, Ghana, India, America etc).
Imperialism is one of the most backwards concepts that the world has seen. It is essentially a bloodthirsty wolf dressed in Grandma’s wool nighty. American pretends to spread democracy and “light” to the unenlightened masses but there are two problems with this. One, with democracy usually comes capitalism and greed – this often times devalues the eternal things that indigenous people hold close to heart. Second, who the hell are we to think we should impose our beliefs and practices onto other countries? Are we not in a trillion dollar deficit? Are we not executing men without just cause? Are we not a country of injustice and manipulation? Why are we acting as though our societal structure is ideal? It's so egotistical and ignorant to dismiss other cultures as "less progressive" because they fight over beliefs instead of paper with printed dead presidents on them. killing is killing.
We have been at war for over a decade now. When I was a child in elementary school, I would read textbooks that said America was at war for numerous years and I was so empathetic. I thought, “That must have been so scary to be getting bombed and gunned down for years and years.” After 9/11 I learned that America could be at war without its citizens feeling a damn thing. Could you imagine being scared to walk outside and be shot in the head? Can you imagine hearing bombs crashing down the street or troops invading your homes and livelihood? Can you imagine being afraid of rape every single day while your husband went to fight in war? Could you imagine fearing for your children’s lives. Of course you couldn't. As Americans, we are quick to condone war as long as it’s not in our backyard. Yet, if it takes place in a third world country then it’s “all good”.
America the beautiful.
become a stranger
To need of pity
Or, if compassion be freely
Take only enough
Stop short of urge to plead
Then purge away the need.
Wish for nothing larger
Than your own small heart
Or greater than a star;
Tame wild disappointment
With caress unmoved and cold
Make of it a parka
For your soul.
Discover the reason why
So tiny human midget
Exists at all
So scared unwise
But expect nothing. Live frugally
over dinner i had a conversation about the concept of "the good guy". i do not really believe in "the good guy" construction. i refuse to measure a man's virtue by word of mouth- a few googly-eyed girls raving about how sweet and nice a guy is. i wish it was that simple. unfortunately, there are plenty of guys that wake up in the morning and slip into their gentlemen facade, while simultaneously covering up the chauvinistic "player" that lies underneath. personally, i am less concerned with who a man is while he's walking me to class or showering ladies with flattery.
i like to know who a man is behind closed doors when he is with a group of male counterparts. how does he treat women when they aren't around? does he feel the need to prove his masculinity? does he name names? look, i have been in the midst of these male conversations and i know how these discussions sound. honestly, i just like to know who a man is when no one is looking.
i tend to see men in three different arenas :
1. the man he portrays to the outside world & public. we all see him when he is on his way to work, the man who posts on facebook and twitter. we know the guy who texts you to see how you're holding up. now don't get me wrong, this can very well be a man's true character ... but there are other arenas to consider.
2. the man he portrays to his friends. i'll never understand the common pretense that men put on in front of their so called" friends". they constantly challenge each other's manhood and masculinity. a lot of the time, it would appear like they cannot be real with one another. often times, discussions of spirituality, emotion, or relationships (not sex) are left out of the equation. instead there is this constant beating of the chest. there is more to a man than sports and sex, right? unless of course, men are cavemen who are totally devoid of substance (which i refuse to believe).
3. the man in front of the mirror. i cannot truly see a man for who he is until i understand him within this arena. a man's true integrity can be measured by his actions when he thinks no one is looking. because of the numerous layers, this can only be seen with time. when the cool is removed and honesty blooms ... money, "social status", clothes, and macho-man become irrelevant. i do not believe in merely "good and bad" guys. i just think it's important to understand that people are complex.
whoever said, "what you see is what you get" couldn't see very far.
October is breast cancer awareness month. i have lost both my mother and grandmother to this fatal disease. consequently, i am a big advocate for early detection and awareness because it could easily affect me someday. People like to say, "Don't talk like that Stevi" but breast cancer is not necessarily a death sentence and early detection can save lives! Don't be foolish and think it cannot plague your life. Get breast examinations, conduct your own examinations, and go to the doctor! It could be the difference between life and death.
ladies, this is key:There are so many women out there who are crying about the douche bags that they dated and how they were hurt in the process. I understand and i sympathize but the problem is not them, it's you. I’ll be honest. At one time I did not know exactly what I deserved from a relationship. I did not heavily consider the importance of reciprocity and cohesiveness. I have seen a lot of guys (throughout my experiences and friends) - the unreliable guys, the men with little ambition, the moocher boyfriends, the cheaters, blah zay blah. Back in the way day, having exceedingly high standards for men made me feel like I was being pompous or stuck up. It was hard for me to feel like a grounded person while dismissing guys who were out of tune with me. Therefore, I would make stupid dating decisions.With maturity comes a sense of clarity. Nothing is wrong with wanting the best for yourself in all aspects of your life. Cuffing is no exception to that rule. Ladies, look for a guy who is not only a gentleman … but a guy who is confident in said chivalry. It takes an extremely secure man to ignore the “bitch & hoe” movement and treat women with respect-like human beings instead of blow up dolls. That is attractive. Too many guys think that a gentleman gets “walked all over” by women. Nope. If a guy can find a good balance between charisma, chivalry, and assertion then he’s “that guy”. I cannot speak for every woman, but I know that I am strong-minded and at times, outspoken. I was told that I am “intimidating” and that is perfectly fine with me. A guy who can roll with the punches is a mandatory trait for a lot of women.I miss masculinity. I would never want to rid a man of his manhood. (Besides, If it’s easily “rid-able” then it wasn’t that sturdy to begin with.) I want to celebrate masculinity and the alpha male. I can appreciate a person who can “tell me how it is” and respect me simultaneously. Ladies, pay attention to the guy who will not be threatened by your strength but instead embrace who you are. It's a hard job, but i'm sure someone out there is up to the challenge.
com' onnnn man. this is ridiculous, let this little boy do his thing.. if this were my son then i'd be turning it up on all of the administration haha. i would have a hard time raising a child under the impression that it's okay to waterdown your talents. forgive me, im just a competitive person lol