Numerous HBCU's and organizations across the country are coming together to ban against sexual assault and rape! Tomorrow, twitpic your denim day awareness (hash tag "denimday" of course) and show support.  "1 in 5 women & 1 in 33 men report they have been raped in their lifetime". We have mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, and girlfriends who are falling victim.

It is important to promote dialogues and discussions regarding sexual safety, college safety, administrative responsibility and outreach, & masculinity's role in these unfortunate statistics. As for the Atlanta University Center, there will be forums and tables tomorrow to get people involved and aware.

Hopefully, i will be able to post websites, videos, and photos of the event. 

..they did it again .

The Man of the Year 2012 Issue Drops Tomorrow. Be There.


black sexual politics

[Ha. I went to another forum (i know, i know). The men of Morehouse were charged to read a book: Black Sexual Politics: African Americans, Gender and the New Racism by Patricia Hill Collins. Furthermore, the men were asked to go even further than read the text. They engaged in a discussion about black masculinity and implications this may have on black women.]

Honestly, i was impressed. Although i did not necessarily agree with all of the comments, it was refreshing to see that some men are seriously considering their place in society. Even more refreshing was the fact that these men were participating in a dialogue to mend unhealthy African American relationships. Too many times, men opt for the ignorance- perhaps to dodge accountability. My grandmother told me, "Stevi, the more wisdom God blesses you with, the more responsibility you are burdened with."

There was one point that i really had to spread on my blog. We were discussing "healthy relationships" and what it means to break the vicious cycle of violence and hyper-masculinity. Someone made this point:

A lot of times, we see our broken and dysfunctional families and think, "I have to be better than that." Rightfully so. However, we need to do more than that. We need to seek out what a healthy relationship actually is. Just because we push ourselves to do better than our predecessors does not mean that we have pushed ourselves far enough. For example, maybe you saw your mother being physically abused by your father. You tell yourself that you will never lay hands on a woman. However, you verbally and mentally abuse your wife because you do not understand that a relationship is made up of so many dimensions. You cannot see where you went wrong.

To be frank, we need to start mulling over some of these ideologies and relationships. They are killing us.


Morehouse Man of the Year Promo Video

jihad & nate are truly two, talented individuals. kudos fellas & thanks for thinkin' of me :)

The 100M Dash Generation

I have some great friends. Often times we (young adults) brag about the wrong kinds of things. We talk, text, tweet and scream to the mountain tops about our new Louis Vuitton bags, the girls/guys we bagged, the accolades we win, and the money we can spend. We hardly ever shout to the world about the kinds of company we keep. And, well, I keep some good company. And honestly, what makes them the most sound, confident, loyal and trustworthy friends is their relationship with God.

We all fall short. I used to express to one of my best friends about the guilt and frustration I would feel when my relationship with God was “lackluster”. It felt as though there was a blockage in the way of my spirituality and me. I was scared of the disconnect. Understand this: I have seen and felt things that no one my age should ever have to see and feel. During those dark moments, it literally felt like God took my hand and led me minute by minute, day by day. I owe EVERYTHING to God, even before I was dealt a complicated hand.

I say all of that to get to the point (lol). A relationship with God is just like any other relationship. It needs communication, trust, and priority.  Talk to God and LISTEN to what he tells you in return. Trust God with everything – academics, health, relationships, MONEY & ROMANCE (I capitalize the last two because those are the things that we think we can “handle” without God’s help .. wrong). Lastly, make God a priority. I used to be so hard on myself (and sometimes I still am). But contrary to popular belief, we are not made whole in one proclamation of God’s grace. We do not reach perfection after one church service or one day of good deeds. EVERYDAY is a battle between the person we are and the person God has called us to be.  It is a marathon race and only those with endurance will get what they truly want from a relationship with God.


Devastation in the Midst of Silence

Recently, I find myself in lots of conversations about social change and what it means to be a young person in 2012. However, before I continue with my blog post, I need to write this disclaimer:

[If you believe that there are no unjust, sociopolitical or racial inequalities in the United States of America … then this probably won’t resonate well with you. If you cannot wrap your mind around the bigotry and disrespect that is STILL VERY MUCH happening in the U.S., then you will not take interest in the following questions:]

I am wondering: What does a 21st century activist look like? What does she/he do to call action and compassion from the world? Should traditional methods (marches, sit-ins, protests and rallies) disintegrate? Is technology making the 21st century activist lazy? or, more proactive? How do we sustain LONG-TERM, consistent, passionate fervor from young people? While we make such a LOUD impression on social media, is the silence (boredom with the topic) that follows just as loud and apparent?

I have some opinions, but honestly … who cares. I’d rather have you, the reader, decide for yourself. Even if you do not come up with a clear-cut opinion, isn’t it important to at least consider what you think? Hmm.

amiri baraka

listen. understand. internalize.


Coachella resurrects Tupac Shakur

Snoop has a bunch of emcees featured on stage and then a HOLOGRAM Tupac Shakur comes on stage! this is officially 2012. Dopest thing everrrrr & now im ten times more jealous that i missed another Coachella. Big ups to the performance though - that's legit California Love ;)


Absence by Pablo Neruda

I have scarcely left you
When you go in me, crystalline,
Or trembling,
Or uneasy, wounded by me
Or overwhelmed with love, as
when your eyes
Close upon the gift of life
That without cease I give you.

My love,
We have found each other
Thirsty and we have
Drunk up all the water and the
We found each other
And we bit each other
As fire bites,
Leaving wounds in us.

But wait for me,
Keep for me your sweetness.
I will give you too
A rose. 


how to raise a son in the midst of quicksand .

[I attended another forum at Morehouse about dating and domestic violence yesterday. I am accustomed to the back and forth and back and forth about "exclusivity" ... but the domestic violence portion caught me completely off guard.]

While the men were tip-toeing around the issue of domestic violence and abuse, the women were more vocal...in an unconventional way. A lot of women said that a woman should expect to be hit back if she hits a man first. While that comment was unconventional, i could almost understand the logic. So, i kept listening. Finally, a young lady said, "If a little girl hit my son, i would teach him to hit her back." Excuse my french, but i almost shit myself. & with that being said, i bring you this:
I WILL NOT allow my son to hit any female. ever. My son will understand that he is blessed with physical strength that is meant for lifting up and not tearing down. Biologically, most men are stronger than women and he will understand that he has a social responsibility to treat all women with respect, even when they do not deserve it. Living a full and gracious life is not about that seven year old girl with the pigtails in her head. No, it is about MY son and his understanding of SELF CONTROL.

He will understand that the true makings of a man lie in his understanding of responsibility, accountability, and self control. He will be responsible and accountable for his own actions. He will learn to excrete patience and control over his actions. If he decides that he will react out of anger and bitterness, then his progress (or lack there of) in highschool, college, and the workplace will be a reflection of that. I understand that the little girl with pigtails could easily be a loud mouthed mother of two kids. Neither of the two women will be slapped, kicked, punched, or verbally abused by my son

Ultimately, my son will understand that he is not putting his hands on a woman- not because she is a woman, but because she is a human. We have come too far to use violence as a means of resolution and my son will not need violence and hyper-masculinity to feel confident about himself. We (his mother and father) will instill that with substantial things. My son will use his power and strength to help, motivate, inspire, lead, and/or serve. He will not use said strength to hurt people. Some traditional views are traditional for a reason, and i will not gamble with my future son's integrity on the basis of trying to be "unconventional". So, NO... my son will not be pounding his fists into little girls.

Hmph ... over my dead body (and the ghostly corpses of victims passed).


mm mm mmm;

5 books you need to read:

In no particular order:

1. The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins
It's blowing up for a reason. Although i may be cheating by putting a trilogy as number one, the books are so good that you will breeze through them all. don't miss the bandwagon.

2. At the Dark End of the Street by Danielle L. McGuire
"Black Women, Rape and Resistance- a New History of the Civil Rights Movement from Rosa Parks to the Rise of Black Power". 'Nuff said. Actually, that's not enough. This book reinvents our preconceived and distorted perceptions of the civil rights movement. Who knew Rosa Parks was a secret investigator for the NAACP ? Read this book.

3. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
Sometimes, you have to read books in order to think critically. Although it is a lengthy read, it is an important novel that contextualizes the concept of "The Old South". Before you read the book, keep in mind that many southerners teach this racist, problematic, FICTIONAL novel as history in high schools.

4. Awkward Family Photos by Mike Bender and Doug Chernack
Maybe you do not like reading? lol. Well, this book is hilarious. It is filled with the cheesiest, corniest, most uncomfortable family portraits. I stumbled upon this book at Urban Outfitters and it might provide a good laugh. Google search the cover, it's funny in itself.

5.  The Giver by Lois Lowry
Although the book is often called a children's novel, it is VERY intense. There are a lot of DEEP implications in the novel and it's definitely worth reading. It's a classic. 


i am NOT Trayvon Martin

Top 5 reasons why we shouldn't have to pay at the club.

the 5 reasons:

1. high heels & dresses. im pretty sure Lucifer created these things in his kitchen. men claim to LOVE women in high heels. so, we strap on these towering monstrosities and hope we don't tumble to our fate, break our ankles, or stepping on innocent bystander toes. - while simultaneously trying to breathe in our skintight apparel. 

2. waxing. women have a lot in common with poultry- being plucked, tweezed, poked and waxed ...only to be devoured and unappreciated by their patrons. do you know how EXCRUCIATING a bikini wax is? a Brazilian? eyebrows, underarms, legs, bikini lines, lawd. 

3. hair. don't get me started. - spending an hour on your hair to have it poofed, rugged, smoke infested, or soggy (from alcoholic beverages) by the end of the night. bleh.

4. hands&feet. i DO believe that hands and feet should be taken care of. however, i usually hear this critique from men with thee nastiest, slimiest, dirtiest nails alive (and i say "alive" because i would imagine that bacteria is living underneath the surface).

5. expenses. between the expenses of hair ($50-$400), mani/pedis ($30-$50), waxing (approximately $40-$50), and shoes (duh) ... we have paid for a years' worth of club entry fees. 

so, stop throwing shade on the females who get into the clubs, parties, and lounges for free. they pay for it in maintenance fees and physical inconvenience. the next time you see a girl at the club scowling .. it's probably because she's about to fall apart at any moment lol.


kissing the mist .

A friend of mine tweeted me saying, "I'm trying to decipher if the search [for the one] is worth the reward."

Having someone you could tell everything to. EVERYTHING- your biggest inhibitions, funny stories, fears, secrets, and dreams being lifted up into the ears of a person who nourished those things like a newborn child. You'd have someone who cherished those facts and kept them locked in a secret vault behind their hearts. Just imagine finding someone who opens their soul to you with a "welcome" sign- a person offering you a hiding place ... in themselves.

“Love is like the sea. It's a moving thing, but still and all, it takes its shape from the shore it meets, and it's different with every shore. ”  ― Zora Neale Hurston

Having a person who tells you the truth, even when it hurts. That woman/man who tells you that: you can do better, you can be greater, your outfit is unflattering, you need to make amends, you stink, you're gaining weight. you need someone who will drive the get-a-way car. you find a person whose opinion- no matter how brash, bitter, loud, or abrasive- is given with soft, humble, and sweet love.

“When peoples care for you and cry for you, they can straighten out your soul.” - Langston Hughes

We just want somebody to hold us down. we just want someone who has an ounce of selflessness left in their veins. secretly, we look to the sky, praying for a drop of decency and honesty in mankind. we want the person who stops the chaotic wars surrounding us and a person that transcends the petty things. we want a peace of mind .. incarnate. to my friend, anything of true substance and eternal nature is worth fighting for, worth searching for.