6.30.2009

velvet boxing gloves .

im fighting this feeling .
im dodging & weaving ... trying to keep my breath .
im losing the battle against this feeling, but i dont even know if i want to win the war;
its punching me at the fine line between my logic & emotions .
regardless of where the discomfort is stemming, i know that both are at the same consensus .
those two have met in the depths of my body to create an offspring named fear .

i dont fear much, ive seen a lot in my years .
nevertheless, loss is a fresh, unfamiliar wound everytime .
having something tight in the grips of my fingers to slip through like sand is horrid .
handing over your all & losing it in the blink of an eye is a ghastly realization .
listening to corrine bailey rae's "trouble sleeping" to corrine bailey rae's "choux pastry heart" .
holding hands with him to screening phone calls is macabre .

the simplicity of a phone call can grow the mold of feelings .
sure, feelings are amazing . the seed planted with compassion, happiness, care, and hope .
but the weeds ... sprouting up jealousy, entitlement, pride & fear , can ruin a promising bloom .
having someone hold your hand to jump off a cliff, then push you off instead is terrifying .

but ...

damn . we laugh . we smile . we connect .
take my hand, we'll jump .

it's not him, its you .

Guys are always known as "the dogs" .
"I aint gunna ever find no good man"
"N*ggas aint sh*t"

in other words, "woe is me" .

Men are very simplistic creatures . They have an objective in mind, and if they can get it, they will take it . Ladies, if you give them sex ... they will take it . lol on what planet do you live ? You give him sex & expect that to be some air tight, binding contract that he will always be there and that he loves you . come on, think logically . if you wanted something soooo bad and all you had to do was say 3 words to get it , who wouldnt ? smh . Guys do what they do, because they can . & i dont blame them ... if you treat yourself like youre worthless, so will a guy . Now, dont get me wrong ... a man should have integrity & values ...however, its stupid to assume they do .

women can be so blind at times . "nuh uh, i dont like her ...she was flirting with my boyfriend last year" . whaaaaaaaaat ? im so tired of girls disliking other girls when their boyfriends are the dogs. It takes two to flirt, text, have sex , etc & yet you're thick enough to believe that your man is being harrassed . spare me . please wake up, idk how many times imma have to blog about this . we're so ready for our prince charming that we're ready to hop out of our own castle window and run to him . psh, let that nigga slay the dragon and work to get you ...ughh, you deserve it . =/

you wonder why youre unhappy . you wonder why everything seems to be falling apart . hmmm , its you ...not him . sure, its him in the sense that he's a bastard . but its you because you dont have the courage to stand up for yourself, eliminate the problem & move forward . stop being so dependent on a penis to make you feel worthy . be your own person .

oh my love <3

mr. adrian grenier , whatta hottie .

6.28.2009

stevi's randsom note .


Do you ever just feel like you dont care about anything ?

I mean so non-chalant that you dont even care about how this blog comes across ?


Sometimes i have this feeling like im the only person who gets me . It's almost as if everyone around me is moving at 150 MPH, carrying around a bunch of invisible "BS" on their backs and im the only one with the magical glasses to see what it is . Everybody wants something from me, or is fake, or takes advantage of me, or wants to prove to me that they dont NEED me around . They rebel against their own inhabitions and release them on me .


Now, im no victim . I lose no sleep . All i care about these days is a fun, positive, God-driven life with REAL people in it . Unfortunately, thats causing me to emotionally-roll-my-eyes at all the other stuff . People in general make me tired, drained . i dont wanna talk to anybody, go anywhere, fake-laugh, be polite, nada . i just wanna r e l a x .

and with that being sed, im holding myself hostage & in hiding from the people & things that bother me ... until i say so . bye :)

s m h .

i take the risk right now of sounding "uncool" , but nevertheless my heart is heavy for the world around me & for myself, & for my fam (blood & un-related) . I often cringe at the things i hear or see that makes me uncomfortable, but nomore . Even worse, sometimes i condone it & ill be held accountable for that later .

The older i get, the more i begin to understand life in a rejuvinated way . I often brush off the things i do because i say, "im young" and i act as if my short-lived 19 years on earth is an excuse for some of the dumb things i condone or do . God has blessed me with the (somewhat) burden of having ethics and accountability . When i do something that is against my principles as a Christian, it itches my spirit. When i see my friends lost or hurting, i feel responsible. Salvation is something that is true bliss . Knowing God (which means having a relationship) is the epitome of contentment and unique characteristics ...being the salt to a tasteless world . Once a person has accepted God as their personal LORD and savior -alot of times people want God to save them, but not let him have rule over their lives-, they are saved forever . Sometimes we slip up and repent, but "theres a difference between sinning & living a lifestyle of sin".

The older i get, the quieter i get . Its an aquired skill ...the ability to listen . I am either quiet because i am thinking , because im observing, because i have nothing to add, or because i am disappointed . These days, it seems to be the latter . I am just worried for this generation. Who am i to condone a lifestyle of sin ? God sent his son to die for us so that we could have everlasting life ... and yet, i act like everything is all good & its not . We didnt create the heavens and the earth...we didnt have thorns thrust into our hands and feet ...& yet, we have this wack sense of entitlement like we can do anything we want, and expect God to bless us abundantly . We act as if our age in an excuse for our behavior ...but i know for sure that tomorrow isnt promised. And if we are old enough & arrogant enough to believe we can manipulate God with that weak excuse, then we are old enough to be held accountable for our actions .

just a thought . im not pointing fingers, because i am not perfect . but at the same time, i wont sugar-coat because God's salvation is not a "joke" . i say this with love, all of my love .

6.25.2009

had to do it , aaaaaah .

okay despite the court cases and jokes , michael was the man . the epitome of an entertainer would be an understatement . my favorite video is thriller, but my favorite mike song is smooth criminal . he invented swagg .



RIP Michael Jackson .

6.24.2009

i just had to laugh ..

so fatima is at the bank ...

wait, wait... lemme rewind & give you background info on Tima :

Fatima Elswify is my really good friend and she is a very awkward
person . Quite halarious actually. Whenever i see her we can never hug because
she makes it too weird . You should see that bullshxt haha . text-challenged,
phone-enthusiasm challenged, just all bad haha . An example of tima's
social-challenged skills:

continued:

so Fatima is at the bank minding her own business . She gets in line to get service from one of the bank tellers . Directly in front of her is a lady and of course everything is fine and dandy . All of a sudden, the lady turns and her eyes roll to the back of her head . She falls back and lands on the floor in front of Tima's feet, "THUD" . she passes out on the WAMU floor . Fatima stands there and watches everyone else come to the woman's side . Women and men are saying "Oh my God ! Are you okay ? Someone call 911 !" Meanwhile, Fatima is just uncomfortable (im cracking up btw when she's telling me this story ... hell, im crackin up as im writing it) . So then while all this is happening, the bank teller says, "I can help the next guest in line?" and FATIMA shimmies around the lady and all of the pandemonium to go the window . lmxo .

you gotta love Fatima .

6.21.2009

all a n*ggah really want is you :)

well this is kind of an insider song for me . lol
but i really just posted it because of the dream's ridiculous "pretty ricky", bingo night vacation shorts .
it's NEVER okay to wear pants like this . just by the way :)



all my love , me .

happy daddy's day :)


what a inspirational man . my daddy .
youngest of seven brothers, never met his dad...living with a single mother .
working a night job to help support the family, going to PHS, and then basketball practice . moving up from poverty to living comfortably .

Being an amazing husband of 18 years to lose his wife to breast cancer .
staying by her hospital bed, being her rock in the hardest of times .
Remaining strong for me and my brother when he couldve easily given up on life . Providing for the family and still instilling important values in our lives . Working two jobs and going back to school to be the best person he can be .

My mom used to always tell me, "you better make sure you get a husband like your daddy" and i used to look at her and say, "gross." lol . but she was right . responsible, lively, ambitious, faithful, full of integrity & love to give the world . My husband will have some huge shoes to fill :) i L O V E my daddy .

6.19.2009

um . OH MY GOD .

oh, in case you didnt know ... kanye is my favorite rapper . ill stick by him threw the wire to the 808's .

batteries sold separately .


jackass number one: "aye, you should get tatted on your foot . i think that's sexy..."


jackass number two: "umm ...why dont i see you in heels often ? you should...i like that in a girl"


jackass number three: "you should cut off all your hair . i love girls with short hair"

wait . i am so sorry guys . i misled you and made you think i cared about your opinion . in case you didnt notice, those sentences all had "I" in them . so it's obvious that the suggestion was more about them then it was me . & as a background sidebar, i didnt ask for their opinion on the matter . when these two peener faces said this to me, i chuckled to myself . i wasnt irritated because they had critiques to make me into their "perfect girl" .... wait, yeah that's why lol . i am myself , not some barbie who comes with attachable hairstyles, outfits, tattoos, and interests . i dont twist 360 degrees at the waist . is it not enough to just pursue who i am and dive into my "me"? instead of encouraging me to get a "white tiger tatted on my side" (a guy really told me to get that) ..how bout you take an interest in my current tattoos ? instead of telling me to wear sneakers, embrace the me who likes to wear what i want to wear . instead of tellin me to "loosen up", invest the time to see me act like a complete idiot . earn the right to know me .

as a matter of fact . you dont have to take me as i am . but if you cant, then dont take me . lol

but once and a while ... you come across a guy who likes you for you . he can appreciate everything you do (even when you dont notice you are) . ladies, cherish these guys . they are investing their time, eyes, and observations in you and what makes you tick . the guys who say "you are beautiful" instead of telling you what you could of done differently . the guys who just look at you and say, "you didddd that" (smile) . im just sayin, girls... pay attention , cause those are the guys who dont want to create a woman, they like the woman you are now ...
* this is an ode to the guys who take girls for who they are . (and the vice versa)

6.18.2009

sad face . lol

wanted: tall, light skinned boy with green eyes & a bike . where theeeeee heck is my cousin ? has anybody seen paris burden ? -_-


grow up .. yea ?

whats so wrong with ambition ? self-love? passion ?
seriously .

i was sitting at my old high school's graduation yesterday at the rosebowl . and all those people , got me to thinking:

how can people really be content with doing nothing with their lives ? graduated high school three years ago and still thriving off of the new jordans & the the freshest neighborhood drama ? sitting in their filth, while watching the rest of the society proceed without them . they are arrogant enough to believe that the world will wait for them .

now, im not referring to college as the only means to success . im talking about ambition and passion . pursuing something that makes them happy . striving to make a comfortable life for yourself and/or the people you love . something has to make you wake up in the morning and it's okay if you dont know right now . However, that should be all the more means for you to get up and make moves . Going to college because all of your friends are doing it and you dont wanna be a lame is not ambition ... its "followerism" haha . Instead, do it because you want to be well-rounded and put more knowledge in your noggin . duh ;

If you love music, pursue it . If you love dancing...do that . If you wake up in the morning and decide to write something, please do . i just saw so many lames with the same jokes they had in highschool . hating on everyone else's success ...like they did in highschool . damn, be different !

different doesnt mean dressing like a clown on melrose blvd (tights are not supposed to ripped manually ... it looks trashy and like an accident). different is yourself . at the end of the day, nobody can be you . no one can have your experiences . have your passions and ambitions in the same capacity . so, different would be pursuing youre self-actualization and being a good person . we often accept the negative instead of thinking we are capable of doing better . think about it ?

6.17.2009

testimony time .

woke up at 6 o clock tuesday morning to go to torrance .
stomach in knots and thoughts rushing all in my head .
my brother could have been going to jail .

the attorney sed it was the "best he could do" ... the minimum sentence .
my blood was boiling to say the least .
but i was trying to figure out what to do .
karen quiet, daren quiet, random girl that i dont know ... quiet .
the second time in my life i felt completely helpless .

so i decide to go outside and pray .
while im outside praying, this old white lady is looking at me in a weird way ... like she had never seen a person talk to God before (which says a lot about our society) . anyway, right as i get done talking to my boss about things (the evangelist woman), i felt better .

needless to say, our prayers worked . so happy that i get to see my bro sommore and that he has the opportunity to live his life to the fullest .

6.14.2009

closet nerd .

okay, so ... im a harry potter nerd . cant help it, just me . im usually out there at midnight when it premeres with all of the HP freaks who wear the cloaks and hats lol =X . my friends make fun of me , but I DONT CAREEEE! lol, anywho trailer:

6.12.2009

kettle corn .


if im synonymous with anything ... it's june .
i am june .
expected to bring sunshine and goodtimes .
a label of summer has been stamped on my forehead .
ive been labeled because of what im "supposed" to be .
bright . cheerful . positivity .
known to ease the worries & draw back the discomfort .

ooooh but that june gloom .
the pessimism inside of me that sprinkles on the finest of parades .
when pushed to the limit of my kindness , i storm and roar .
a rebellious reaction that says, "who cares what you thought i was" .
mixing paints with the yellows and the blues to make an ambivalent shade of
"We'll See" is my artistic signature .
smashing the summer heat and the dark tuesday afternoons until they splash across the lame expectations of my personality .

bathing suits and big,lengthy scarves jumbled in a confused drawer .
sunscreen and silk umbrellas in a frenzy of pandemonium .
recklessness & raw contemplation holding hands by the fire , watching the rain poor .

thats me . born on the 26th day of the unknowing . the unpredictable . june

WILL FERRELL . good cop bad pearl .

i absolutely love will ferrell & pearl :)



youtube: landlord pearl .

6.11.2009

air muffins .

those gold pumps in her closet have the power to kill, if they wanted .
they could stab her in the neck while she was asleep .

her little black dress could strangle her, if it wanted .
it could suffocate her, leaving her helpless and gasping for air on the kitchen floor .

her louis handbag could pull on her shoulder until it dislocated .
her stone-studded watch could cut her wrists, have her bleeding on the corner of rodeo drive .
her newly purchased lucky brands could hang her from the ceiling on a bright, sunny morning .

wait, they could not .

but him .
met him on a monday .
they dated on tuesday .
made it official on wednesday .
fell in love on thursday .
he was jealous on friday .
dolce shades cover up black eye on saturday .
...her funeral service is sunday .

sometimes, labels are easier than love . i wish she could see how unhealthy his love is . i pray my heart out, cry my eyes out for her . sometimes, experience is the best teacher ... but damn .


song: labels or love - fergie .

6.10.2009

holding hands with the 'used to be'


5'2

individual braids .

snacks handy in my backpack .

enthusiastic and smiling, looking forward to my first year of highschool in 2 months .

i was a nerd .


the principles of attraction are never what they're supposed to be .
binding your mind & heart to smear what the eyes can see .
neither one of us were that cool
but i was younger and a bit dull .
i guess you saw something else behind my meek persona .

perhaps you saw my boxing gloves stuffed in my jansport .
maybe you saw my intellegence tucked behind my ear .
it couldve been my kisses, braided between my hair .
or there's a chance you peeped my ambition hidden in my chucks ?

i made so many friends . girls and guys . but i was always always the friend . it didnt bother me much . i was swamped in books and an "almost highschool life" . it was until a party two years later that it hit me . when i walked in, sporting my new found "ooo la la" ..i saw you in the corner with the guys . eyes met , and the weirdest look of frustration and intrigue hit me in the face . i came up and waved . you grabbed my wrist and yanked me into the most sincere hug from a highschool boy till i was seventeen . you aknowledged who i was back in the day and embraced the woman i became .

denying who you were is a dishonor to who you are today . so what if i wasnt smooth for all of my life . how boring is that ? lol, the outcasts of life are the ones who always lead the most amazing lives . i look forward to the rest of mine .

6.09.2009

growing charlie horses .




when youre in elementary school, you make so many "friends" . all it takes is a "hi, whats your name?" and you are pretty much set . Now, God forbid you dont share your snack with me...then we have a problem . Anyway, in those days, friendship and relationship were simple . Everyone has set a principle and morale . It's with time that those things are corrupted and disoriented . people's true colors start to rise to the surface ... sometimes at the age of 10, 16, 35 sometimes 19 . people become selfish, self-righteous, prideful, followers and completely self-obsorbed.
with time, growing pains become a lot more agonizing . wounds that were made when we were kids were brushed off after recess . Now, subtle things can cause life changes . when we were younger, we knew the truth (even when we tried to pretend like we didnt) ... but now...we are so full of our own bullshxt that we engulf ourselves in our self-pity, lies, and pride . sometimes i think little kids are more mature than adults .

So much has changed since i went off to college . I went off to find myself (because on the contrary, id rather keep searching for myself . taking my time, than settling for the first thing i find along the way) . I love my friends. all of the ones who did me dirt, or wished me bad or friends that i just grew further apart from . some tried to cut ties with me because they were scared that i would do it first . some of my counterparts still act like little kids who wanna make big kid decisions but cant handle the responsibilities of their own actions ...wrongfully marginalizing others to compensate for the consequences that they are too scared to face .

i dont expect much from anyone except my dad & brother . I also have the maturity to decide that i cant put those obligations on anyone else because im an adult & my life is my own . So, if im "acting brand new" ... so what ? At the core of my personality is the same Stevi who taught you how to use a tampon on the outside of the bathroom stall . At the core of my personality is the Stevi who stops what im doing to listen to your problems . At the core is the stevi who pushed you to better yourself . Who cares if i live in Atlanta now ? At Spelman now ? Weave up my hair now ? Didnt kiss your ass like everyone else...ever ? perhaps they are the ones acting brandnew ... dont see the important characteristics in a friend anymore ... corrupted by what society classifies as vital friend traits: status, where you live, & money .

for all the people who remained good friends to me throughout the years, or hell...for a couple days . i love you, im praying for you & thank you .


6.08.2009

milk dud .

just because .


who doesnt love gold pants ?

i triedddddd to explain to my spelman friends how random and crazy sunset & hollywood blvd can be at times . people in superhero outfits , ppl doin the souljah boy for change (cough, cough iman) . well mr.kalikreme proved my point ! lmxo

6.07.2009

cloudy with midnight showers .

women .
im so tired of men making women out to be some type of monster .
"women cheat more than men" . no, dummy ...we dont . its just that we are better at it , which makes you scared that we cheat more than men .
we're gold-diggers, sluts, manipulative, "leading the man astray ever since eve gave him fruit"
haha . if women messed up by leading men astray, then men messed up by failing to be the leader that they should have been. God told Adam not to eat the fruit, and a real leader would have told Eve, "No" . but anywho, i digressssss . lol i love men, dont get me wrong...but i dont love boys with supressed, false ideologies of the sexes .

on the contrary, women are strong creatures who deal with the hardest of obligations . holding a human being in your stomach for nine months is no joke . being born with a nurturing demeanor and ability of compassion is a lot to handle ... giving birth to boys just to have them call you bitch, slut, and whores . pretty discouraging .

with such heavy weight to carry, i came to this conclusion:
if i had to settle down ...
i would want a guy who wants to be my support system ;
a guy who would rather take my burdens as his own than risk the chance of my unhappiness.
a guy who is strong enough to carry my worries with me .

a guy who makes my soul heavy with gratitude .

6.05.2009

yesssss ! the cleveland show :)

i feel lame for being so excited ! but i cant help it lol .

kid cudi & mickey factz . oo la la

i love this songggg . i think its cause of that mild techno breakdown at the end ? bomb .
[ps. dont fastforward to the breakdown cause it isnt the same haha] :

here you are, kid cudi & mickey factz: do my do .

not so simple .

correction:

my blog is the content of who i am . what's more personal than someone's thoughts expressed through writing, pictures, youtube videos & links ? i mean i could tell you in person, but a lot of the time ... people arent in the mood to hear what youre saying . they arent interested . i often say random thoughts to my friends & they look at me like i spoke in chinese. when it comes to a blog, people make the choice to see what you're talking about . so with that said, my blog is real . real in a sense that im not holding back, what i say is legit .

i say this because (from an outside perspective) it may seem like my blog world and the real world contradict themselves . for example,
* i say that i wanna just chill at the house, order pizza and watch a movie with my man ... lay in my pj's with my hair tied up. ha, but i dont mention that i cant get that comfortable with a guy until i trust him enough to see me in that light .
* i complain that heels hurt my feet, but not that they are bomb & are crucial for a "omgawdshebaddd" moment .
* if someone doesnt know me very well, i tend to be quiet because i like to observe & listen . it's not a weakness, it's a strength . those who truly know me also know that i am rarely one to hide my opinion .

as cool as blogging is (for so many reasons), it cannot adequately provide a perfect idea of a person . people are complex, & as much as i can appreciate simplicity ... its rarely in my life . i like boots but can digg a good barefoot moment . i pig out on food, but i secretely yearn to eat healthier (not gunna happen though haha) . i like to treat people with respect, but i am also very critical of what the world has become . i say all of this to make a point: too bad i forgot what it was ... haha ! chow .


6.04.2009

trey songz & sammie .

"she aint my girl" . me likey :) ...not to mention, trey's momma diddd that lol .

lil wayne's song about kobe .

so, lil wayne made an, "i adore kobe bryant" song . i mean, im not a lakers fan . but ill admit that kobe is a beast . idk how he throws up the ball from under the net while being shoved into the crowd for the and1. i swear, he could make a basket while breakdancing on a pogostick haha . ionno , lol . but anywho, here is it:


http://www.zshare.net/audio/6094335052ac7a8a/

6.03.2009

oneday, someday, yester

posted on the pavement with the streetlights on .
for every split second that i feel alone, there's a cream-filled moment of sweet contentment just knowing that he's right here .
im gripping my stomach, laughing so hard that i can barely say two words , "stop it" .
but those words are said in vain .
in fact, tonights bliss depends on the hope that he doesn't "stop it" .

my simple, yellow dress is skimming my thighs and its cold outside ...supposedly
... but i only feel the warmth .
his arms .
my smile .
THC is glistening behind my pupils but he only sees the good .
the whole .
the beauty.
the fluttering of my dress causes his naivete to make him high .

a discussion of one's day during the deepest hour of 9:noneteen . a non-existent hour that we can call our own .
with hands he pulls my dress at the hips towards his body while we talk, leaned on the car .
& now, my words are shot to hell .
a kiss on a collarbone makes a city mute .
a secret, honest silence that will hold on till we exhale ;

examiner le bonbon .

i mean, shia is no pharrell or trey songz.. but sheesh ! he's still 'the bait' ha . everybody talks about me when i say that lol, but i dont care !

shia is b o m b .

fans . friends . & artists ;

6.01.2009

sending this with love & disappointment .

im probably going to offend people with this post . but wait , when am i supposed to care ?

"Give it to me, gimme thatfunkthatsweethatnastythatgushystuff ...."
it's four am on a tuesday night and i roll over to pick up my phone underneath my pillow . my eyes can barely adjust to the dark but it's flashing blue lights & the sidekick is blinking my friends' name . "wassup," i say while trying to organize my brain . sob sob sob . all i can hear is her sniffing up her snot & a shortness of breath . "It's okay, what did he do?"

the sad part is, i couldnt even put a name into that story . Not because of privacy purposes, it's because i couldnt possibly name all of the people who deal with the same nonsense . after the 50th call about a boyfriend cheating or a girl 'claiming' to sleep with your man OR a guy disrespecting you ... im bewildered lol . excuse me for laughing, but seriously...its kind of funny .

okay we have:
1. the girlfriend whose boyfriend cheats: look, if your boyfriend has cheated on you more than twice (once for me) than his habits are not going to change . i know youre scared that he "might change this time", please . people slip up, but then again ... boys get away with what they think they can . forget what you think you want ... why would he even deserve you ? why do you feel so poorly of yourself that you think he's worthy of your dedication and love and faithfulness after he cheated on you ? "I LOVE HIM" . so what . do you love yourself ? boys can smell insecurity like sharks to blood . No one can love a person who cant love themselves . A man who loves you would not want to see you crying and lookin like shxt . point, period, blank . and if you disagree, then your idea of love is in disarray . if you look in the mirror and see someone that you dont like as a result of him ... he's not good for you . he's not the one . that's an obvious red flag .

look . let me tell you, with time...you can get used to anything .
you can used to him not being there anymore . it will be HARD,
but theres a 80 percent chance that you probably need to focus
more on yourself anyway . you will survive without him . i promise.
2. the basketcase: me and fatima often get attacked by our friends (haha) because we usually see where a guy is comming from . we dont justify cheating, but we dont put it past a guy to screw you over . if you meet a guy and sleep with him in a week and he stops calling ... yeah, youre a dummy . talkin bout "he doesnt even wanna get to know me" ... why would he? it isnt like youre girlfriend material . it already seems like you dont have the confidence to hold a conversation to sustain a hold on him . some guys can respect a girl who does that kinda stuff...but i have ALOT of guy friends , i know what im saying .
3. the doo doo mother: i think the most ignorant song ive ever heard was, "he's mine...you may of had him once but i got him all the time" . dont ever be a dude's "main" . one time, a girl told me that her boyfriend said, "i mess with both of you because she has something you dont. and you have something that she doesnt". Well if you two are "in love"..then you should be his everything... not his %50 . you know he has other girls, but you settle for that distorted sense of contentment because you dont think you can find better ... trussssst me, you can .
i wish i could just tell girls how much greener this side of the situation is . That they dont neeeed a guy. How desperate they are making themselves out to be . its always the gorgeous, smart, talented, generous who settle for the guy who is disrespectful, unfaithful, and lacking ambition .
i would be willing to bet my next paycheck to tell you that you can find better ..with unwavering standards, confidence, and focus on oneself .
...if you disagree, tell me . if you have another topic for me to address...hit it up .
All my love, stevi renee .

thea at last ! thea at last !

okay, this poem is ignorant as hell . haha .. she off some south central, slauson swapmeet type stuff lol . it'll probably inspire a new blog . but she's dope with the poooooem ! haha, so here you guys go :