Showing posts with label past. Show all posts
Showing posts with label past. Show all posts

5.31.2012

eraser burns.


We all have a narrative.
Some moments are written in lead, ink, or blood- but, nevertheless, we all have a story- the narrative we’d all love to tell about ourselves. In our own way.

If we could, we’d write chapters about our accolades and exaggerate the glamour. We’d paint ourselves in fluorescent lighting- unknowing of its faulty exposure.  It’s so easy to waltz your pen across paper- d r a g g i n g out the highlights and beauty of the story that is you. It is so easy to scribble the stable, wise moments of our lives in BOLD INK. We have no problem illustrating the “flat” characters in our lives- the people who played their roles and left on cue.

We try to hide the complex, round characters that
enter on page 2 and cause havoc until page 200. We lighten the font on people who made an impact on our protagonist selves – the ones causing heartbreak and tears. We try our best not to admit that we can be impressionable … through naiveté, love, or pain. We use words like “impressionable” to avoid words like “vulnerable”.  We only allot a page or two to the things that haunt us and bind us. We award a paragraph to the pain and a sentence to the sin. Honestly, we’d rather be heroes than sidekicks. We'd rather display the strong moments instead of the weak lapses.

Then we have the unspoken narrative: we mull over the unsaid words that are left ‘pin balling’ in the dark and sharp corners of our minds. We mourn the death of worthy words that are drowned in waves of bed sheets. Or perhaps, some of these romantic whispers are muffled under fists ... fists that are clinching these same waves in an erotic swim. The things we wish we could say. The things we yearn to proclaim. The thoughts we’d love to birth into the air. How we would love to give up our fear for adoption. How we'd love to foster up our own narrative in love. 

With every day that passes, every emotion felt, and every word said…we write our narrative. So, speak. Speak your passionate, flawed, dark, and lovely story into existence.

6.10.2009

holding hands with the 'used to be'


5'2

individual braids .

snacks handy in my backpack .

enthusiastic and smiling, looking forward to my first year of highschool in 2 months .

i was a nerd .


the principles of attraction are never what they're supposed to be .
binding your mind & heart to smear what the eyes can see .
neither one of us were that cool
but i was younger and a bit dull .
i guess you saw something else behind my meek persona .

perhaps you saw my boxing gloves stuffed in my jansport .
maybe you saw my intellegence tucked behind my ear .
it couldve been my kisses, braided between my hair .
or there's a chance you peeped my ambition hidden in my chucks ?

i made so many friends . girls and guys . but i was always always the friend . it didnt bother me much . i was swamped in books and an "almost highschool life" . it was until a party two years later that it hit me . when i walked in, sporting my new found "ooo la la" ..i saw you in the corner with the guys . eyes met , and the weirdest look of frustration and intrigue hit me in the face . i came up and waved . you grabbed my wrist and yanked me into the most sincere hug from a highschool boy till i was seventeen . you aknowledged who i was back in the day and embraced the woman i became .

denying who you were is a dishonor to who you are today . so what if i wasnt smooth for all of my life . how boring is that ? lol, the outcasts of life are the ones who always lead the most amazing lives . i look forward to the rest of mine .