He said, "am i gonna talk to you tonight?"
and i paused before i answered .
he didn't seem to notice .
but why should he ?
a pause is just a pause . a small little breath taken in to find some words . right ? wrong .
a pause is more than a coincidence of sentence . a pause is a huge thing filled and overflowing with implications, possibilities, and things unsaid .
a pause can be the time needed to respond with a witty reply .
a pause can be the time to make up a lie . obligations, expectations, hopes and faith is poured on us like molten lava ... burning what we think we're capable of; we look in that moment of nothingness for an escape ... a key hole of possibility to avoid the situation .
a pause can be the leash we need to hold back wild tears .
a pause can the time allotted ...to gather the pieces of yourself... just enough of yourself to tell a hurtful confession of truth to a loved one .
a pause can be a thought: the fantasy of hands pressing against flesh in a warm mess of passion . pauses that are taken to give us enough time to smirk . lips that press firmly against one another so steamy words cannot leak out into the world .
a pause can hold the laughs that are SO INTENSE that no sound comes out for the first 3 seconds .
mmm yes . a pause can be a time to weigh options . sitting in your room listening to music and wondering where this can go . an imaginary moment that manipulates you into believing that you can actually control fate . a moment of fake control ... like you can actually predict what will happen if you say, "yes" or "uhm, naw im going to bed." a pause to think, 'whats the worse that can happen?'
. . . a pause that is bold enough to answer your question & change everything .