a pile of pauses .

He said, "am i gonna talk to you tonight?"

and i paused before i answered .

he didn't seem to notice .

but why should he ?
a pause is just a pause . a small little breath taken in to find some words . right ? wrong .

a pause is more than a coincidence of sentence . a pause is a huge thing filled and overflowing with implications, possibilities, and things unsaid .

a pause can be the time needed to respond with a witty reply .

a pause can be the time to make up a lie . obligations, expectations, hopes and faith is poured on us like molten lava ... burning what we think we're capable of; we look in that moment of nothingness for an escape ... a key hole of possibility to avoid the situation .

a pause can be the leash we need to hold back wild tears .

a pause can the time allotted ...to gather the pieces of yourself... just enough of yourself to tell a hurtful confession of truth to a loved one .

a pause can be a thought: the fantasy of hands pressing against flesh in a warm mess of passion . pauses that are taken to give us enough time to smirk . lips that press firmly against one another so steamy words cannot leak out into the world .

a pause can hold the laughs that are SO INTENSE that no sound comes out for the first 3 seconds .

mmm yes . a pause can be a time to weigh options . sitting in your room listening to music and wondering where this can go . an imaginary moment that manipulates you into believing that you can actually control fate . a moment of fake control ... like you can actually predict what will happen if you say, "yes" or "uhm, naw im going to bed." a pause to think, 'whats the worse that can happen?'

. . . a pause that is bold enough to answer your question & change everything .

1 comment:

  1. that pause is what alwaiis allows me to think an extra thought.funni how its a pause for us n not for tyme tho