feet twitching and hands sweating, waiting . for what, she did not know ... but her heart was heavy-
pounding like the kneading of dough .
her calm would not come down, instead it rose like helium filled balloons.
her calm twisted and ascended past train railings, rooftops, and up into rainy clouds.
her breathing was uneasy,
her mind, racing in the dark . trying to pick apart her fate, a puzzle missing pieces .
-- while at dinner with a friend, i expressed my anxious and complicated feelings about the future. with all of the possibilities and uncertainty in my future, i was told: "Don't feel anxious. God doesn't live in the same perspective of "time" as humans." we feel entitled to things because we have "waited" a long time. perhaps TIME does not need to change, but we do. you cant do the same thing over & over and expect a different outcome. another 'sometimes surprisingly wise' friend of mine (lol) once said, "stop worrying if the grass is greener on the other side and water your OWN grass." being so anxious about others and/or what's coming can plant a seed of destruction.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).