Showing posts with label social change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label social change. Show all posts

7.05.2012

balancing on the tightrope


To my consistent readers, casual browsers, and first time onlookers, “my apologies”. I have picked up two new interests/projects and it is ... time consuming. I realized today that I have resorted to twitter rants to satisfy my thirst for writing and expression. Yes, it is a sad, sad day for Stevi (lol). So, I am back and so glad that my thoughts will not be confined to 140 characters!

There is something that has been burning in my mind and heart for a few days now. Oddly enough, it started when I saw that Evelyn Lozada and Chad “Ochocinco” finally tied the knot. I know this is strange (especially because VH1 has me on edge these days). However, it hit me that we (society) spend an immense amount of energy and time worrying about people who could care less about us. Sure, Evelyn cares if the viewers watch. However, at the end of the day –regardless of the scrutiny, criticism, and twitter bashing- she is going to do what makes her content and happy.

Our obsession with fame, however, has grown into an ugly beast. Our narcissism and perverse peeping tom lifestyles have turned into a cancerous, viral virus.  The last straw for me was this news about Frank Ocean. Of course, everyone is entitled to his or her opinion. However, why do we have to be entitled to our opinion so rudely, and at someone else’s expense? The slanderous, vile, hurtful things that people said were out of line. It made my stomach churn. It made me realize that society does not take human life seriously anymore. Frank opened up in a way that was very honest, vulnerable, and courageous. The soul and mind are delicate things and society often times fails to see the reality in celebrity. Can you imagine getting slurs, hate, and criticism from millions of people...all of the time? My friend Kamilah said something like, "social networks have developed a world of critics, not creators." Twitter has given everyone a voice. People get overwhelmed and arrogant. I wish people understood that their tongues can heal, not always harm.

I’m disappointed, to say the least.
--

6.18.2012

action + compassion = change.

[I have to post this story- not only because it is shocking and disgusting, but also because I'm not sure if it will see the light of day. A friend of mine and recent graduate of Morehouse College went to his hometown of Raleigh, North Carolina and experienced ... well, I'll let him tell the story:]

*  BTW, please do not let the amount of text deter you from reading. it needs to be read.

"My name is Jonathan Wall, and I am a 21 year old black male from Raleigh, NC. I was born and raised here, and just a few weeks ago I graduated from Morehouse College in Atlanta, GA. This fall I’ll be headed to grad school at Harvard to get a Master’s degree in Education Policy and Management. I’m in Raleigh for the summer before heading off to grad school.
As the story begins, on last Saturday night around 12:30am, I and 2 other friends went to Downtown Sports Bar and Grill off of Glennwood Avenue. The night got interesting as soon as we got to the door, and the bouncer told us “you need a membership to come in tonight, I’ve never seen you here before.” My friend Chris and I looked at each other in curiosity, knowing that the establishment was a bar and not a club, and that people in line before us walked right in after showing their ID. The only difference between those people and my friends and I was our race. Still, we stood at the door in bewilderment asking “What?” as he further tried to explain that we weren’t going to be able to come in because of our “non-member” status. However, as he was explaining this, a police officer walked up to where he was standing to tell him something unrelated. As soon as he caught sight of the officer beside him, he said “Never mind, y’all go ahead.” This was the first interesting ordeal of the night, but not the last.
We were downstairs for all of ten minutes, when my two friends dispersed. My friend Chris went to the bathroom, and my friend Kristin went upstairs to get some fresh air. Only a few seconds after they left, what appeared to be a bartender came from behind the bar to clean drinks off of one of the tall bar tables that was near me. After he cleaned the table, it looked as if he was headed back behind the bar when he came up to me and said “Either buy a drink or leave right now.” Again shocked, I replied “I’m just waiting for my friend to come back from the bathroom.” He responded, “I don’t care, get a drink or leave right now.” I said “Okay” and began texting. He walked away from me, then went and sat with his back to the bar as he stared me down. Being non-confrontational, I looked towards the bathroom, waiting to see my friend come out so that we could leave. I also took notice of how many of the people surrounding the bar and the club area didn’t have drinks in their hands. I felt as if I was singled out. The common denominator, again, was that I was the only black person around. After staring me down for about 30 seconds, he walked back over and said “Are you going to buy a drink, or are you going to leave?” I replied, “As soon as my friend comes from the bathroom.” Before I cold utter another word, he grabbed my right wrist and my left arm and threw them behind my head in an effort to constrain me, although I was speaking to him a calm and non-aggressive tone and didn’t once even gesture. He then used excessive force to push me through the crown and out of the club while I was still in this “headlock” of sorts, before pushing me out of the front door. As soon as he grabbed me, I let my body go limp because with the degree of force he was already using, I didn’t want him to think I was trying to fight back. I accepted that he was on an ego-trip, and let him guide me through the club in this position before pushing me out. I was completely shocked and more saddened that this was happening than angry.
As he was walking me out, my friend Chris came out of the bathroom and ran up to where he we were, asking him what I did wrong. He didn’t reply. I had done nothing but suggest that I would wait for my friend to come from the bathroom and leave instead of purchasing a drink. After making sure I was all right, my friend and I went to the bouncer at the front door to try to tell him what had just happened and get an explanation. He waved us off and told us to just get away.
I walked up and down Glennwood Avenue looking for a police officer to talk to—again, not angry, but sad and shocked that what I believed to have been blunt and undeniable segregation was taking place in an establishment in Raleigh, the city I was born, raised in, and love.
After about ten minutes and two redirections I was able to talk to the police sergeant, who was also on Glennwood. I explained to her everything in the previous paragraphs. She told me that this was a very unfortunate occurrence, but not an isolated instance. She explained that this happens all the time, and that if she approached the bartender about it, he’d have witnesses that would corroborate whatever story he made up as to why he kicked me out in such an aggressive manner. She then explained that my options were limited because if she proceeded with getting statements from both of us and conducted an investigation, the end result could be worse for me: either it would get dismissed in court, or we would both be charged with what is the equivalent of “fighting” and both have a misdemeanor. She said “He probably has a few charges already, but you’re young with a bright future ahead of you, and you don’t want that on your record.” I understood what she was saying, but wasn’t exactly sure whether I should trust a police officer within the network of bouncers/officers who worked the many clubs/bars of Glennwood. Just then, the man who threw me out came to the front door. I pointed him out to the officer, and she approached him to talk about the incident. They talked for about 3 minutes before she came back to me and said, “I knew this was going to happen. Now, I don’t believe him one bit, but he says that he has three people who witnessed you throw an elbow at him before he restrained you.” Shocked is an understatement. As I said earlier, I talked in a non-confrontational, clam and respectful tone, and didn’t even gesture when talking. There is no way that he could have perceived me as having thrown an elbow and I didn’t understand how three people would lie and say that I did. I asked the officer about video camera footage. If the club used cameras, they would show the conversation, and his aggressiveness in constraining me despite me posing no threat and remaining calm throughout the conversation and his constraining me. She said that it would require a search warrant and that there was “No telling” how the video could be edited, tampered with, or even done away with before it would be required to be handed over to the investigators. What troubled me about my conversation with the officer was that she seemed to assume the worst case scenario in every possible solution to my encounter. She kept talking about how much paper work would be involved, as if that were going to deter me from seeking justice. Still, it was 2am, and after speaking to both of my parents and my friends, I realized that justice couldn’t be served that night. Because of the lack of witnesses, it would simply be my word versus his (and that of his three “witnesses”), which could potentially yield extremely negative consequences for me, even though I had done nothing wrong throughout the entirety of the ordeal.
The next day, Sunday, my mother told my aunts and uncles about what happened and I found out something even more interesting. After my aunt told my 21-year-old cousin about what happened to me, my cousin called me immediately, requesting the name of the bar where this had happened. I told her the name, and she gasped before telling me that earlier that night, she and group of 4 of her friends had tried to go to the same bar (Downtown Sports Grill and Bar) but were told by the bouncer at the front door “I’ve never seen y’all here before. You can’t come in.” Confused, she asked “What?” and he replied “You’re not allowed in here because I’ve never seen you before.” My cousin didn’t feel like arguing or being somewhere she didn’t feel welcome so she and her friends simply walked away. Still, the only common denominator in her and my own dealings with the bar was one single factor: race. We were both African-Americans trying to enter and enjoy a bar that seemed to only welcome those not like us.
It is absolutely ridiculous that this still happens in America. It is even more ridiculous that it’s happening in Raleigh, North Carolina, one of the fastest growing and, increasingly, most diverse cities in America.
I talked to my attorney who said, simply, that although what happened was undoubtedly wrong and unjust, the fact of the matter was what I had assumed before: it would be an uphill battle to reach any kind of legal resolution. She then suggested that I contact the I-Team Troubleshooter to see if there was any possible solution when the media asked for answers as to why and how this was allowed to occur. She also suggested that I check whether my and my cousin’s stories were not isolated instances, and whether media coverage would expose more stories of racism and exclusion at this establishment.  
I thank you in advance for reading this, and for any help or assistance that you may be able to offer."

12.24.2011

for that girl in the parking lot ...



Earlier this semester, I was leaving the library and ran into a new friend in the parking lot. I was in a rush to leave for dinner and asked, “Hey, how are you?” in an apathetic way. To my surprise, she had a lot to say. She told me about a guy she was dating. He created elaborate lies to ultimately use her for money, intimacy and most importantly … a lot of time. If that wasn’t bad enough, he spread lies about her around campus. She was clearly humiliated and heartbroken.
To be completely honest, my immediate thought during the story was, “Girl, that was naïve. You should have never took his words at face value.” And for that thought, I must apologize to the young lady if she’s reading. How could I patronize her for having the courage to trust and love whole-heartedly? After all, such trust is damn near impossible to stumble upon these days – like a four-leaf clover, or ... authentic Louis Vuitton. Anyway, this incident got me to thinking …
We live in a very peculiar time. This is a time when “men will be men”, but inversely, women should “know better” Women are constantly portrayed as a femme fatale- the woman who lurks in corners, waiting to bring a man down.  For example, if a woman musters up the courage to say she was raped, then she “wanted it” or she has to be “lying”. A girl gets pregnant, and she must've “trapped” him. If a girl is cheated on, society (especially women) chastise her because she should have “known better”. This is so backwards to me.
Yes, this is a peculiar time. This is a time that devalues the work of the mother… as if it is not a full time job to raise children in good health and faith (& Don’t even get me started with the businesswoman/mother – there should be a national holiday for these women). Leave a dad at home with the kids for five hours and he treats them like a grenade ... or rubik’s cubes. Yet, even after a woman commits years to wiping vomit off of her arms, pushing pounds of flesh out of her vagina, cooking meals, and instilling values in the kids, she is expected to turn a blind eye to cheating from her husband? AND if she decides to leave him and gets half, she is immediately deemed a “gold-digger” as if her contribution to the familial empire was non-existent. backwards. 
            Look, this is a post for that girl in the parking lot. Find a man who is honest. I say this with all sincerity. It may sound extremely simplistic but finding an honest man is one of the most complicated and difficult things to do. If a guy read this post and said, “that’s some bullshit” then he’s not ready to accept things truthfully. & What’s scarier than a man who lies to a girl is a man that lies to himself.  If he is real with himself, the ability to accept responsibility and accountability will come. Who he is, what he believes, and how he treats others should all be grounded in honesty. Find that and you have struck gold. 

"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces." - Matthew 7:6

11.07.2011

let's talk about rape, bay-bee.

Dear Reader,

I want to first and foremost thank each and every one of you for taking the time to read my blog. I understand that you are busy being workers, students, friends, mothers, lovers, wives, husbands, and ultimately theorists. It is not going unnoticed and i appreciate you.

This next series is very important and dear to me. Unfortunately, i know/have heard of too many people who have been sexually assaulted and it is nothing short of horrific. After hearing brave stories and shedding numerous tears, i decided to write about this. While rape may seem like a "female thing", it is a human thing. I want women to seize their sexual sovereignty but i am also giving men some unseen insight into the complexities of rape.

I will provide creative writing, facts & statistics, personal advice/accounts, as well as dialogue about this topic that plagues THE GLOBE. if anyone has thoughts, topic suggestions, or anything regarding this blog series, feel free to DM me, facebook message me, or comment (if you wish to contribute anonymously, that's perfectly fine). Although this is an uncomfortable and controversial subject, i am a firm believer that true growth only happens outside of comfort zones. Here we go ..

All My Love,
Stevi Renee

@heartsNhandguns
Stevi Renee Facebook

3.22.2010

my people! my people!


BABIES ARE NOT BARBIES . they are not to be made lightly . if you are still claimed as a dependant on your parents taxes, you are not in the position to have a baby . if you cant pass the CAHSEE, you are not in the position to have a child . If you dont know that condoms arent enough, you should not be having a baby ! we need to be teaching our young girls about protection and the canon of 'wolf words' that men use . "ill pull out ." "if you loveeeeee me thennnn you would doooo it." "ill just stick the head in?" & "you don't get pregnant everrrry time." those lines are the ones that leave fifteen year old girls holding their inflated stomachs in the mirror .

secondly, people are having babies and dont even understand them . If your baby is quoting "five star chick" and "photoshoot" ... that is NOT cute ! lol . letting your infant watch bloody, gut-slashing movies is dumb ! babies booty shaking & rolling their eyes are NOT cute ! cursing in front of your babies is dumb . unfortunately, people think that their kids are incapable of understanding .
" Children younger than one year old can learn words for things outside their daily routine, despite widespread belief to the contrary on the part of many parents, educators and researchers, who think learning specific words does not begin until well into the second year. " - the Daily News Central .

instead of letting your kids watch rihanna music videos, they should be reading a book or watching some hooked on phonics videos . babies don't have a choice about the life they are brought into . if you didn't graduate high school, it's your responsibility to give your child the option . if you are living in poverty, it's your responsibility to give up those high heels for educational programs . it's not fair for a child to be burdened by the mind of an immature parent . grow up my people .