Earlier this semester, I was leaving the library and ran into a new friend in the parking lot. I was in a rush to leave for dinner and asked, “Hey, how are you?” in an apathetic way. To my surprise, she had a lot to say. She told me about a guy she was dating. He created elaborate lies to ultimately use her for money, intimacy and most importantly … a lot of time. If that wasn’t bad enough, he spread lies about her around campus. She was clearly humiliated and heartbroken.
To be completely honest, my immediate thought during the story was, “Girl, that was naïve. You should have never took his words at face value.” And for that thought, I must apologize to the young lady if she’s reading. How could I patronize her for having the courage to trust and love whole-heartedly? After all, such trust is damn near impossible to stumble upon these days – like a four-leaf clover, or ... authentic Louis Vuitton. Anyway, this incident got me to thinking …
We live in a very peculiar time. This is a time when “men will be men”, but inversely, women should “know better”. Women are constantly portrayed as a femme fatale- the woman who lurks in corners, waiting to bring a man down. For example, if a woman musters up the courage to say she was raped, then she “wanted it” or she has to be “lying”. A girl gets pregnant, and she must've “trapped” him. If a girl is cheated on, society (especially women) chastise her because she should have “known better”. This is so backwards to me.
Yes, this is a peculiar time. This is a time that devalues the work of the mother… as if it is not a full time job to raise children in good health and faith (& Don’t even get me started with the businesswoman/mother – there should be a national holiday for these women). Leave a dad at home with the kids for five hours and he treats them like a grenade ... or rubik’s cubes. Yet, even after a woman commits years to wiping vomit off of her arms, pushing pounds of flesh out of her vagina, cooking meals, and instilling values in the kids, she is expected to turn a blind eye to cheating from her husband? AND if she decides to leave him and gets half, she is immediately deemed a “gold-digger” as if her contribution to the familial empire was non-existent. backwards.
Look, this is a post for that girl in the parking lot. Find a man who is honest. I say this with all sincerity. It may sound extremely simplistic but finding an honest man is one of the most complicated and difficult things to do. If a guy read this post and said, “that’s some bullshit” then he’s not ready to accept things truthfully. & What’s scarier than a man who lies to a girl is a man that lies to himself. If he is real with himself, the ability to accept responsibility and accountability will come. Who he is, what he believes, and how he treats others should all be grounded in honesty. Find that and you have struck gold.