for wasting wallflower women.

i absolutely love it when i'm hanging with a guy and he asks, "what are you thinking?"
i love those moments because the implications behind that question can range anywhere from romance to respect.
in case you haven't noticed, we live in a male-dominated society (i am not cranking up the notch on my feminism, it is just a well known consensus). Because of this macho-centric community, the thoughts and theories of most women are ignored or of minor significance. i have seen one too many women being "hushed and marginalized" in conversations among their husbands and/or male friends. therefore, i can appreciate when a man takes an interest in the opinion of a woman.

on a smaller scope,
my personal pet peeves are when people (in general) try to manipulate, undermine, or lie to me. when someone decides that they will discount what i say or what i am feeling, it's a direct insult to my contribution in a conversation, collaboration or relationship. i do not need to be the center of every conversation, but i know when someone attempts to patronize me. i think it is just as important to think as it is to feel. i have no problem acknowledging my feelings as a woman because emotion is what differentiates me from the laptop on which i type.

i find that men have discovered the one way to completely undermine a woman's concerns and feelings. They claim that she's:

"insecure" or "crazy"
they frown their eyebrows and suggest that a woman is "seeing" or "believing" things because she is not confident in herself. they imply that a woman is blinded and sabotaging the relationship. this causes women to second, third, and fourth guess themselves and believe that they're the problem.  if a boy texts his girl by accident and says, "Hey lisa, i had a good time last night ;)" and his girlfriend's name is Tanika...then she's not being "insecure", she's using common sense lol (AND NO I DO NOT KNOW WHY I CHOSE THAT NAME). no woman wants to be that "crazy jealous stalker", so they appease their man's shady behavior.  NOW, some women are extremely jealous and insecure. nevertheless, most women's intuition is on point.

in short, the fore-mentioned tomfoolery is only an insult to my intelligence. playing the "over reacting", "crazy", "insecure" card on me will only make me believe that a man thinks little of me. So little of me, in fact, that some reverse psychology 'wamp wamp' will lower my self esteem enough to take disrespect or dishonesty. ultimately, i am a firm advocate for men liking my mind as much as my physical appearance and spirit. if you take one for granted, you take it all for granted.

- SRD.

Never let the hand you hold, hold you down.  ~Author Unknown


  1. the choice of picture?

  2. nothing deep. i like that picture LOL.

  3. This is SOOOOOO true! i know how you feel girl...and i hate it too!!!

    Loving your blog!

  4. Stevi you are such a wise woman. What you said here was so on point girl you must've been reading MY MIND. I love your blog, and I just wish we lived in the same state so we could be better friends! But congrats on finishing up your senior year at Spelman, you're gonna do great things. THANK YOU FOR BLESSING ME WITH THIS TODAY.


  5. Thank you so much Azi :) That means the world to me and i feel the same way! When we graduate we have to reconnect lol. I hope everything is well with you and i look forward to the "catch up" !