i am de[fine] fine .

"Im fine," says the little girl with dark, hallow eyes . somewhere in the corner of them was a sparkle of brown . but that corner is too far away . so far, that just when you finished running to it, you pass out from exhaustion ... never to actually enjoy its beauty . you might ask, "what pushed that brown further and further back into the oblivion ?" she'd answer "love" .

you see, "I'm fine" is the cake that you purchased after you realized the perfect one (with cream layers and chocolate swirls...accented with chocolate covered strawberries) was already taken. "Im fine" is the cake from Ralph's with your name spelled wrong on top . its acceptance of the unacceptable. "I'm fine" is a festering sore that moves through the body slowly. It first attacks the feet, making it hard to move on from one devastation because of fear. Next, the hands become paralized ... it can barely greet others, simply because that's how 'heartbreak-seeds' are planted. Finally, it hits the heart . not slow, like the others. more like a collision that points a gun to the hope in your spirit that maybe, just maybe ... someone is out there.

That little girl with the empty eyes has seen disappearance. devastation. immitation. betrayal. and love. she saw the latter in her grandparents, when he made her his chicken noodle soup and brought it to her bedside. she saw the latter in her parents, who embraced each other happily...leaning on one another graciously. she needs a brave soul to rescue her sparkle of brown .

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