11.25.2011

words with strangers.


He noticed her for months. Living. Breathing. She was always smiling, but he suspected that there was something he couldn't see. Finally, he approached her and asked the first thing to come to mind. “Where's your boyfriend?" he asked. She looked at him, intrigued, and said,

“Dating is a smoke and mirrors game. We’re blindfolded, spun around in circles and expected to strike gold. No direction. No insight. We’re just adults, stuck in kiddy mindsets- swinging randomly until we reach contact. We don't even know we’re breaking each other.

This is a generation that romanticizes pain. Some of us have legitimate, heavy baggage and heartbreak stories that blister hands, making it to excruciating to hold another’s. Meanwhile, the others in our generation are pretending to be scarred because they’re scared of being "bland". They like to claim “trust issues” because they think it makes them real. I wish I could tell them that it’s okay not to lose a father, a mother, a lover, a brother, a sister. It’s okay to have a healthy ability to trust. It’s okay for your world not to crumble. Nothing’s cute about being cold. I'd tell them to give life some time. Yes, with time ... life will shake them beyond belief but until then ... trust with open hearts & soul."

He was taken aback. She blinked and took even breaths as if she merely told him the time was 2 o' clock. He spoke carefully, "So, you don't look for something ...more?"

She smiled, "I’ll never pretend to be what I’m not. I’ve seen too many real things to entertain a false projection of reality. And sometimes fraudulence isn’t intentional- just a lost boy taking his time to become a man. Dating, at times, can be an inadvertent sham. [One person telling another person what they think should be said.  The other person trying to overemphasize their life] … attempting to put make up and hair ties on a hog.

I’ll settle for nothing less than organic. I'm not "looking for something" because the something you speak of is too complex. I need pride put on shelves. I need facades roasted away in cabin fires. I live in a world that is drenched in fear and insecurity. Until I have something natural, stripped and raw, I will spread single across my lips and pucker up to life.”

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