I took some time to sit back and think about my blog series. I decided that I wanted to end with these last points: to fellow young women,
Women are often times so concerned with the term “sexual liberation” while they’re in college. Time and time again, I try to keep a straight face when women say, “I think having sex with no strings attached is sexual liberation.” It doesn’t bother me as much that women say they want to have sex lives; it bothers me that they equate casual sex with liberation. What do they think they’re being liberated from? What societal constructions are supposedly holding them captive?
Many women argue that society turns their noses up at the “promiscuous girls”. They go on to explain how white society wants them to date. get married. have kids and follow the 'normal pattern' (as if such a life sucks). Casual sex and promiscuity are practices seen on television, in movies, and social media sites. It’s more accepted and normalized to have kids out of wedlock than within the union of marriage. In fact, present day society marginalizes the abstinent girl more than the girls who participate in sex.
I say all of this to remind you that views on sex will ALWAYS change. Trying to keep up will only leave you feeling used, abused, and confused. Even more problematic is the fact that men are usually the trendsetters for the patterns found in women’s sexual behavior (look up marketing gender statistics). Isn’t that ironic? Instead of looking to
pop culture for a tutorial on your
body and sex life, take control for yourself. Sexuality is a huge part of a woman’s life (whether or not
she is sexually active). It’s important to have autonomy over your body and the
things you do. NEVER let a man decide what you are comfortable doing. Love
yourself first. Things are clearer that way. Thanks so much for engaging in this series :)
All of my love,