What I described in my prior post about “dragqueen love” was really just a description of infatuation. Love is not “blind”, infatuation is. Denial is the playground of infatuation- the “tingly emotions, butterflies, and hormones.” Now, nothing is ultimately wrong with infatuation but there is something remotely wrong with getting it confused with love. It would be like bringing a butter knife to a warzone – you’ll ultimately be ill-prepared for a trying and difficult circumstance. You need truth to survive with a partner for the long haul. in contrast, infatuation likes to turn its head away from the inconvenient truths.
People think they’re “in love” because they HAVE to be around the other person all.of.the.time (eye brow raised). Take a moment and think back to your high school dating and relationships, I’ll wait. How many times did you stay up on the phone late at night and deprive yourself of sleep just to hear them breathe? How many times did you spend every waking minute and hour together? Yes, count. Do you really think you were “IN LOVE” that many times? No, infatuation is a high that we're addicted to. it's so mesmerizing that we're scared it will evaporate. Subconsciously, we know that those feelings aren’t firm so we make sure our ‘lovers’ won’t leave: hence leaving us stuck to face the reality that it’s not real love in the first place. Love, real love, is so strong that you could leave knowing that the feelings are in a sound foundation.
I used to think that love was insanity. Nope, that is infatuation. You might ask what I mean by insanity or think “insanity” is subjective. I couldn’t agree more. Some think that things like:
- -daydreaming about the other person
- - becoming barbarically jealous and over-protective
- -humping like rabbits in heat
are “love” insanity. No, that is simply infatuation insanity. Those things listed stem from physical attraction (which is natural), insecurity about the relationship, and straight up being horny lol. In fact, sex is one of the biggest complications for people thinking they’re in love. The psychological research on sexuality is astounding. The Heritage Foundation found a substantial link between adolescent, pre-marital sex and depression/suicide rates. Personally, I look back at some of the guys I dated and talked to… if I had sex with them, I would virtually feel like a piece of shit now. & if you don’t believe the power of lust versus love, lookah here (btw, he’s hella graphic, so if you’ll be offended …don’t bother):
Link to the heritage foundation: