the 'bougie bar' response .

bougie romance & gold-digger have very fine line distinctions .

but ... i dont think my friends suggestion was "bougie" . i think she has standards and she is entitled to those . every girl wants to be wined and dined a little bit and most girls want guys with some ambitions, some goals, some drive . nothing is wrong with wanting a spouse (loosely speaking) who has some of the same IMPORTANT interests . i say important because i dont think it's healthy to dismiss a guy because he doesnt enjoy intricate basket weaving like you do , smh . im just saying, some things in life are standards, and some things are just picky . sometimes, we have to decide what is on the bougie bar, and what is simply an important standard .

Now, the second person said she didnt mind if her guy was broke and was not in school ... she just cared that he loved her & that he wanted her to be his "wife someday". aww, now isnt that cute ? and N A I V E . it's one thing to date someone who wants to work (but has no money), but it's another thing to marry someone who cannot provide like you need . Im not speaking from some 1950's pregnant and barefoot feminine mentality. Im simply saying that most women find it attractive if their man is a hard worker . It's nice to know that if times got hard, he would grind hard and protect. If he has the ability to provide for his family by any means necessary, it's a sign of strength and determination .

---> most guys who say that a girl's standards are unrealistic are usually the ones who are intimidated . It's not about money or status, i think it's more about state of mind .

p.s. if you missed the first part of this topic: http://steviwonderwoman.blogspot.com/2009/11/bougie-bar.html

the 'bougie bar'

when most women were younger, their qualifications for a guy were pretty simple :

1. he has to be "fine" ...we used to always say "fine" :)
2. funny
3. nice

my friend said that she thinks she's bougie when it comes to romance . she blames this on her qualifications for a boyfriend . she said he has to be in school, and the thought of him spending his 'last ten dollars' on her is not cute ... but unattractive . she then went on to say that it would be okay if he was broke and in school, but since he is working and broke ... it was apparent that he needed to be in a classroom . she explained that she thinks it's sexy when a guy can take care of her sometimes: pick her up, pay for food and/or going out on dates .

but is that bougie ?
[bougie. stemming from the word "bourgeois" which is the upper, snobby-er class in society]

another perspective is a girl who feels like a guy spending his last couple of bucks on her is sweet . she does not care about how much money he has, and she does not care about his future goals and ambition ...she is more concerned the thought of their relationship . she said that he calls her his "future wife" and that makes her feel like she's on top of the world ... and that's all that matters .

to be completely honest, im not sure if i want to include my opinion . i think i will in a couple of days if i do . in the meantime , do you guys (women & men) think there is a 'bougie bar' ? standards that are ridiculous ? what is acceptable ? what standards are too low when it comes to status, money, goals, etc ? hmm .