I was sitting at a bar Wednesday night with some friends. We began to discuss the perimeters of love. “Can you even define love,” my friend said. As I suppressed the urge to quote (the very cliché) 1 Corinthians “Love is patient, love is kind…”, we stumbled across infidelity. Can you cheat on someone that you truly love? Can you cheat on them numerous times if you truly love them? Needless to say, the conversation was very heated.
Personally, I believe that we all fall short at times. We disappoint our family and friends- even though we love them. Hell, we definitely disappoint ourselves (the person we tend to love the most). During the conversation, a particular point stood out to me: Men are logical creatures, not emotional. We don’t look at sex as an emotional thing. We know we want it, we go after it. “PRETTY GIRL. WHAT GIRLFRIEND? ME CHEAT. ARGGGG.” If, in fact, men are simply chimpanzees with careers and iphone 5s then I plead insanity. I refuse to believe that men are that painfully simple and/or mentally retarded. If a man's girlfriend never crosses his mind, then that is a bigger issue in itself.
I do, however, believe that men and women tend to see cheating differently. So, for all of the men who claim that they do not understand what the big “whoop” is with infidelity, let me paint a picture. When a woman is in love with you and you cheat on her:
She literally feels like an eighteen-wheeler truck is sitting on her chest. She feels like she was hugging, kissing, confiding in, and laughing with a serial killer. She thinks you are a stranger now, “How can someone be so dishonest and despicable?” She is humiliated that another woman can brag about the fact that she had you. She will regret all of the times that she was proud to show you off to her family and friends. She will feel weak. She will be mad at you because you ruined the trust. You did the unthinkable. Who’s to say the sky won’t fall again? She will mentally replay all of the times that you said she could "trust you". Now, all of her hopes for the relationship are tainted with a murky, grey film of betrayal, dishonesty, and coldness. Psh, I can’t even begin to explain how she’ll feel if you two are having sex (which 8 times out of 10, you are).] She will feel like she lost her best friend.
Uncle Ben (Peter Parker’s uncle, not the man on the rice box) said, “With great power comes great responsibility.” You can no longer claim that you are ignorant to the effects of your infidelity. Now that you know what cheating will do to your girlfriend (or boyfriend), you have to evaluate if you could do that to someone you truly love. I think the basis of true, authentic love is the quality of selflessness. Your needs become their needs and you develop an innate desire to protect the other person. Personally, I don’t think that you can continuously cheat on a person that you truly love.