repost: "thee love note"

you give me ...
a love that chips away at the hard soul surfaces and renovates the damage .
your UNDYING hope in me that paints the black roses in my heart, red .someone with a green thumb ... willing to pull the weeds of my past & plant potential .

I'd throw my hopes into the air for the sky to catch in the crevices of clouds .
and if my heart should smash against Pasadena palm trees or pavement of Brooklyn brownstones, I'd survive because you're good like that . el corazón duele en las manos de abusadores, pero las manos están hechas de rayos dulces de sol .

in a world that spins on the axis of narcissism, you crumble the spindle until the rules change . crack . smash . decomposing until LOGIC is melted in a steaming pot ofmiracles . a love that sows together the wings of butterflies & lifts me beyond the heights of fabrication .

you are where i start & where i will end . you see the constellations in my eyes, the symphonies in my heart beat, and feel the breezes from my eye lashes . it feels good to be appreciated . you stitched my wounds, fed my soul and love . me .unconditionally . when i stumble on my stubborn, when i TASTE TEMPTATION, and linger in lies, you love me still . all i ever wanted was someone who would stick by me, fight for me, and ride or die until the end ; mission accomplished .

P.S. God, i fell in love with you all over again today .

félicité: re-post from 2010

disclaimer: this is a dialogue. this post reflects a thought-process, but not necessarily my opinion. don't text or message me with questions lol. 
so, my friend asked "is it natural to love?"

are you kidding me ? who knew four words could make my face crunch up and my palms sweat ? she said, "we love our parents and we love our family and we love our friends (depending on who they are). But, romantically, is it natural to love people?"

that is a complex question . the love that we have for our family and friends is a completely different type of love than the one of our lovers . As opposed to talking to your friends and cousins every other day or week ,we drench ourselves in the people that we are in love with all the time . We make our world about them and they do the same for us . Is that healthy ? Is that natural ? Biologically speaking , we are made to reproduce . Our bodies attract to hormones in the opposite sex (subconsciously) to make babies . But all the extra: the yearning to talk to them everyday, the butterflies, the deep pit devotion . . . is it natural or societal constructed ?

the reality tv shows to find love , the love movies, the love songs, and the love poetry all tell us what we're missing or how to feel . the yoplait yogurt , special K, 24 hour fitness, weight watchers commercials that imply that eating healthy will make you attractive, hence ...help you find love . Has the media taught us that love is the ultimate thing to strive for in life ? maybe we hold on so tight to the people we are in love with because we know that they are hard to come by . Maybe we love so hard for the people we meet because they 'GET US' when no one else does .

when a girl tells a guy, "I love you, but more like a brother" . She means, "Psh. I could never revolve my world around you. I could never talk to you all the time. I could never imagine us kissing or fawning for each other." So, maybe someone can answer my question: Is romantic love a natural occurrence OR something that has been hyped up by the culture around us ? and if romantic love IS natural, why is it so different from other types (for example, the consequences of romantic love is heartbreak ) ?

The crazy part is: Even if we realized that romantic love isn't a "natural" thing , we would never give up on it because of our yearning to meet that special someone .

say what's real.

i look at my life like a huge jawbreaker ;

                                                            i suck at it.  

so i sucked at life,

i licked through the many layers trying to get to the core -pushing and weaving through. i licked through the 'trying to fit in' stage when i felt like an outsider and social deportee . contrary to popular misunderstanding, America's broken-record routine is to find the newest alternative lifestyle . the new trend is to flee as far as possible from tradition & 'boxes' . i found at a young age that morale, faith & self-actualization are 'boxes' that i wouldn't mind sitting in . SILLY me .

i licked through the layer of superficiality. they say money doesn't buy happiness, they lied . that's why people are so confused . they buy a Ferrari and feel this sensation in their bellies . they swipe their credit card to buy that watch and tingle inside . see, money can buy happiness ... but it can't buy Joy . they are two different things . happiness is a quick high that leaves you smiling until you're ... not. Joy is the emotional, physical, and psychological land of milk & honey . it's a peaceful state of calm & contentment ... money is simply theoretical paper.

ahh, i licked through the false sense of affection . we go through life with family and parents that care, however in the back of our minds we wonder: "they (our family) love us because they have to . will there ever be anyone who loves me on purpose? (lol) will there be someone who sees something special in me ?" therefore, we search life for someone who cares ... and we run smack dab into infatuation . it feels cool when you're in high school and someone is obsessed with you (and vice-versa) lol . unfortunately, that dynamic is not about the two of you ...it's about the one of you . one person is obsessed about being adored, and the other one is doing the exact same thing . people are simply using & using without being accountable for the catastrophe that comes later .

finally, i reached the core . i don't mean to sound cliche, but there's a reason why love is so popular. i need people to see love, not as a 90's R&B song, and not as a cheesy romance movie . those things are simply simulations of 'real love' ...those things are cheap, body spray scents, but hardly the real thing . Love, real love, is so selfless and unstable that it's rulebook only states, "one size fits all ." it's a scary thing, because it is so untamed & addictive, you become scared that you'll get lost somewhere between bliss & armageddon . But displaying love is all that matters; it is the only good, strong thing left in the world . IT IS OF GOD . Agape.

"Three things will last forever - faith, hope and love - and the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13

thee real

i look at my life like a huge jawbreaker ;

                                                            i suck at it.  

so i sucked at life,
i licked through the many layers trying to get to the core -pushing and weaving through. i licked through the 'trying to fit in' stage when i felt like an outsider and social deportee . contrary to popular misunderstanding, America's broken-record routine is to find the newest alternative lifestyle . the new trend is to flee as far as possible from tradition & 'boxes' . i found at a young age that morale, faith & self-actualization are 'boxes' that i wouldn't mind sitting in . SILLY me .

i licked through the layer of superficiality. they say money doesn't buy happiness, they lied . that's why people are so confused . they buy a Ferrari and feel this sensation in their bellies . they swipe their credit card to buy that watch and tingle inside . see, money can buy happiness ... but it can't buy Joy . they are two different things . happiness is a quick high that leaves you smiling until you're ... not. Joy is the emotional, physical, and psychological land of milk & honey . it's a peaceful state of calm & contentment ... money is simply theoretical paper.

ahh, i licked through the false sense of affection . we go through life with family and parents that care, however in the back of our minds we wonder: "they (our family) love us because they have to . will there ever be anyone who loves me on purpose? (lol) will there be someone who sees something special in me ?" therefore, we search life for someone who cares ... and we run smack dab into infatuation . it feels cool when you're in high school and someone is obsessed with you (and vice-versa) lol . unfortunately, that dynamic is not about the two of you ...it's about the one of you . one person is obsessed about being adored, and the other one is doing the exact same thing . people are simply using & using without being accountable for the catastrophe that comes later .

finally, i reached the core . i don't mean to sound cliche, but there's a reason why love is so popular my friends lol . i need you to see love, not as a 90's R&B song, and not as a cheesy romance movie . those things are simply simulations of 'real love' ...those things are cheap, body spray scents, but hardly the real thing . Love is so selfless and unstable that it's rulebook only states, "one size fits all ." it's a scary thing, because it is so untamed & addictive, you become scared that you'll get lost somewhere between bliss & armageddon . But displaying love is all that matters, it is the only good, strong thing left in the world . IT IS OF GOD . Agape.



"Three things will last forever - faith, hope and love - and the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13