Humans are generally social in nature. Our lives are based
around constant communication and relationships; and they vary. Some
relationships are strictly business- trading goods and services. Other
relationships are personal – exchanging emotions and experiences for the
betterment of their livelihood. I find more than ever that personal
relationships seem to fail because people confuse “expectations” with
“standards”.
A lot of us meet someone and have enormous expectations. Then,
when they fall short, we’re angry with them because we expected more. That’s a
set up for failure. Technically, the person we just met at the Starbucks or nightclub
is still a stranger. Why do we expect so much from someone we just met? After all, we hear more about trifling men and
women than romance success stories.
So many women expect to meet a man who sees her and drops
everything to be with her (give up his time, the sideline hoes, and “check-in” daily). They expect this "new man" to be consistent, attentive, and thoughtful. Those
types of things are only seen with time. Sure, he may be sweet and charming,
but who isn’t initially? Reliability shows itself over a course of time and
circumstance.
Men, on the other hand, expect women to be matronly, sexy, devout and relationship-thirsty.
While I am not sure where these
apron-wearing, stilt-stiletto pumping Mother Theresas are, I doubt she’ll be
found on every corner. She needs to earn your expectations. Do not simply hand
them over to the first girl with a pretty smile and charming personality.
Try to expect the best from the people who have proven that
they can deliver. If a person shows that they are considerate and trust worthy
then you have the right to be disappointed if they stray from their moral norm.
Standards are the reason why you hold on to someone or let them go. Unlike
expectations, standards are solely dependent on you. You set them. You may not expect someone to treat you right,
but you can know that you deserve it. Therefore, you can set certain standards for yourself. We
cannot control what people do. However, we can control what we want
for ourselves.