So, About Gabby...

Unless you have been living in a cave over the last couple of days, you know who Gabby Douglas is. I commend her for staying confident and positive in the midst of the media-firestorm...

Recently, Spelman College made efforts to congratulate Gabby Douglas in London. According to TMZ, Spelman sent her a gift bag and Dr. Beverly Tatum expressed an interest in Gabby as a potential student at the historically black college. Whether or not you believe that Spelman is "going too hard" or that it's a "lost cause" is irrelevant. Quite frankly, you don't know Gabby. That seems to be the problem here. Everyone thinks they know what she'll do or how she should do it.

There are pros and cons for Gabby to consider. If she wants to attend a school with gymnastics and athletics then Spelman (who recently decided to stray from their athletics department) may not be the best choice. However, Spelman is an exceptional institution that instills a solid pride and understanding of one's past. Similarly, Spelman has a track record of grooming women to change the world (seriously, the world). Why is Spelman thirsty for congratulating a successful girl on her national triumph? Honestly, they'd be a fool not to want her. Nevertheless, just because we know what Gabby Douglas can do, it does not mean that we know who she is as a person. We should all let her live and enjoy her success.

[What's probably the most obnoxious thing are the twitter comments and TMZ comments online.]

"Why is there a need for such segregation in this day and age? A black college? Such a thing shouldn't exist, anymore than a "white college" should."

"This is ridiculous, a BLACK COLLEGE? While Martin Luther King Jr, preached abolishing segregation he sent his kids to an all black school? Why even today? Black Rights groups would complain about an all white college. Just have regular colleges not just one race at each!"

"I heard a rep from the bronx zoo was trying to talk to her."

-- The last comment that I posted is the reason that there is a need for HBCUs. There are such things as "white colleges" and they are called PWIs (predominately white institutions) - Yale, Harvard, Princeton, UCLA, and many more. Don't get me wrong. I commend the African American students who attend these schools- regardless of marginalization and underrepresentation. Let's not forget the protests that happened in 2008 over the embarrassingly low rate of African Americans that were admitted at UCLA (despite the students academic competitiveness). Trust me, "white college" exist.  When looking at these TMZ comments, It astonishes me how people can go through the hassle of commenting on the site, but refuse to do their research. If they did, they would know that Martin Luther King Jr. attended Morehouse College (an HBCU) and they would know the sentimental value of these schools. These pretentious commenters would also know that HBCUs do not turn away students of other ethnic backgrounds. It is a HISTORICALLY black college. This means that it was founded during segregation when white people would literally lynch us if we stepped foot on their campuses. These comments (especially the ones from Morehouse men on twitter) are disheartening. We need to pay attention to the real problem, not pull each other down like crabs in a barrel. 

Clearly, there is still a need for HBCUs and a need for enlightenment. My senior year in high school, i was told that slavery was needed for economic reasons. After this thorough graze over slavery, we moved onto the next subject matter in U.S. history. I needed Spelman. Now, Spelman needs me. I'll always stick up for my alma matter's relevance in society. I suggest others do the same. 

to see more ignorant TMZ commentary (and a sprinkle of enlightened ones): TMZ article

investing in a diamond !

Taylor's story is extremely touching and she is a phenomenal student and person. Her circumstances are unfortunate, but this story will be inspirational. I LOVE MY SPELMAN sisters, Morehouse brothers, and AUC family ... we really come together to support one another. If you have any money to spare, please read her story in the link below and send prayers! xoxo.

Read Taylor's Story & Support!

Dear Future Spelmanite,

Do not run for the hills. This atmosphere takes adjustment. I moved from the sunshine and comfort of California to the humidity and culture shock of Atlanta. The first month or so, I wanted to go home. Everyone calling me their "sister" seemed so disingenuous. Believe me, you will gain SISTERS here as long as you remain genuine. It may seem like a new world. Nevertheless, the most growth occurs when you are out of your comfort zone. Do not stay crammed in your room (unless you are studying). Go out. Meet people. Try new things. See the city.

Get Internships.

Apply for Scholarships.

Call your parents to confirm that you’re alive.

Call grandparents …they send money.

Pray.

Study Abroad.

Never accept “No”. The school has the money- find it. If they do not want to, make them. You deserve Spelman and make them know it.

Do not chase "hype". A lot of times, people come into the AUC looking for the popularity that they did not acquire in high school. This is college. If you thought high school was ruthless, you were only in the minor leagues. People have sharper tongues in college. People have more creative ways to hate on you in college. Hype is short-lived and disloyal. Instead, find friends who could care LESS about campus drama and "fame"(if you will). Find sisters who are too busy trying to save the world. Societal superheroes are cooler than “college prom queens”.

Go to a Beer Bash.

Go to a pageant.

Go to a park.
Go to Merkerson's. 

Go to Founder’s Day.

PRAY.

Go to a Chapel Service.
Go to Sporting Events.

You are the perfect coal. (lol) I know it does not sound that glamorous to be considered a coal, but don’t underestimate the power of coal. We all aspire to be diamonds, but that occurs after immense time and pressure. Before you reach such a high stature, you need to use your circumstances to light a fire in your community. Ignite passion amongst your fellow sisters. Whether it be through activism, politics, spirituality, dance, science, or mentorship – nothing is wrong with doing the niddy-griddy work of a coal. Before you know it, you will be a Diamond Girl (50+ year alumnae of Spelman College).

Mentor someone. Yes, you are of age.

Protect your name; people would love to throw it in the mud .

Engage yourself in dialogue.

You are beautiful.

Cause awkward, controversial silences in class.

Pray.

In college, your greatest asset will not be your AP classes, your interpersonal skills, your popular boyfriend, your big chest, your greek affiliation or even your parent’s influence. In college, your triple threat will be God, God, and God. Morehouse men and Spelman women tend to get their minds steadfast on being “renaissance men and women”. While that is admirable, some students treat “religion” as one thing on their resume to appear “well-rounded”. Your relationship with God is more than that. It will keep you grounded to your beginning and it will be the catalyst toward your future. Create and nourish a GENUINE bond and dependency on God. 

Class of ... 2016? (i felt so old saying that), Welcome to Spelman. Congratulations. 

All of My Love,

Stevi Renee

bittersweet farewells ...

On Sunday, May 20^th, 2012, I became an official alumna of Spelman College. Spelman has given me numerous things over the past four years- laughter, tears, societal-shattering thoughts, craft, love, and at times … headache. I would trade absolutely nothing for the moments I shared with my beloved Spelman College. I understand myself more as a woman, an African American, and human being. These past four years have been HARD. College is more than the parties and debauchery. Spelman College, in particular, causes one to look in a mirror that reveals all angles- the good, the bad, and the hideous. I could not have done this alone. With that being said, I have people to thank:

Taara,

I know you hate all the attention, spotlight, and mushiness associated with these goodbyes. I know lol. But i just have to say that you have been such an inspiring and generous person over the past four years. I am so proud of you and I truly admire your humility and grounded behavior. All my love, Stevi,

Raven,

I love you so much Ray Ray J. A lot of times, people undervalue the contribution of a drama-free, easygoing friend. Because of your light-hearted spirit and grounded soul, Spelman’s freshmen nonsense never seeped into my pours. You are beautiful, brilliant, and so loving. You let us into your house and shared "momma pittman" with us. I appreciate everything. Love you!

Vivian,

Viv! My roommate and one of the first people I met at Spelman. I love you Viv and I am so proud of the woman you have become. From the beginning, I always admired your humility and generosity. Even more so, I admire your resilience and I know God has something amazing in store for you…

Jamila,

JAMMM JAMM! Lol. Jamila, you are a remarkable human being. You have broken so many barriers and stereotypes in your hometown of Baltimore and here at Spelman. I am so proud of you, 4.0 this semester, job offer and Phi Beta Kappa! Your drive and focus has inspired me more than you know. Beyond the accolades, I am proud of you for so many other personal reasons. It is much harder to persist over personal diversity than academic. You are such a treasure to me and continue to amaze me. I love you and I know those little rugrats in upstate NY are in good hands lol.

Lea Zora,

Shmlea, as much as I roll my eyes and smirk at you- I promise, it is all out of love lol. Lea, you have been SO vital in my matriculation through Spelman College. When I almost decided to stay home in 2010, you encouraged me to come back and generously offered up your home to me. I know you had a lot to deal with and I thank you for your encouragement and selflessness. I am so proud of you, and I am so proud of the woman you have become. You are “prime real estate” and more than capable of taking the world by storm. Stay grounded in God and believing in yourself. Love you.

 

Brennan, 

Brenny, I am so happy that you called me out Sophomore year for being a bad Spelman sister. If you didn’t, I would have never had the chance to meet such an outstanding brother. You have no idea how much your grounded, positive energy means to me. As a woman, living in the AUC can make you feel like a piece of meat and/or undervalued. You always appreciated the woman I was and my values. It means a lot bro bro. Stay you. Stay positive. Stay incredible.

Fatima,

There is a reason why Lea calls us “Fah-stevi” lol. I have never met someone who understood me quite like you. You are truly one of my best and truest friends. It’s crazy; I don’t trust many people enough to give me advice on life. However, I truly value your opinions and contributions to my growth as a woman. I mean that. We never cared about the hype and drama of the AUC because we had our share in high school. Thanks for being so easygoing and drama-free. You have been the ear I needed when confiding in you about boys, school, the loss of Samantha, my mother, and most importantly, God. I am honored to be a witness to your growing faith and walk with God. We both know, at the end of this … our faith is all that will sustain us. No matter how far we stray, God will be our “home base” and you will always be my sister. I love you Tima, thank you.

Elysse,

There are no words. You have been more to me than a sister. Sister cannot even describe the pride I take in you and the love I have for you. We have seen it all. I met you when I was six years old and we could never fathom where we would be today. We liked the same boys, fought, laughed, cried and grew together as women. We shared mothers. We shared, everything. When mom died, you were sitting on my bed with a snicker’s bar in hand to cheer me up. You have always held me down in ways that no one has. No matter the inconvenience, the time, or the struggle- you have held me down. Seeing that envelope in the mail junior year with the words, “If you need more, let me know.” … That meant the world to me. We lost Sammi last year and I have to tell you that you mean the world to me because tomorrow isn’t promised. You are so talented and you love so hard- both great qualities that I do not take for granted. I am so excited to see what God has in store for you. I love you.

Samantha,

I’m so sick about losing you and I have yet to completely come to terms with your death. Yet, I want to thank you for all of your love and support. Your struggle with sickle cell was … heartbreaking and ugly and incomprehensible. Somehow, you always had leftover love for people as insignificant as myself. You always understood the importance of finding love – in ways that no one else could. You kept me humble and knowing that a person is nothing if they have not loved. In spite of the heartbreak, we always had each other. There are times when I still pick up the phone to call you to vent and laugh and I miss you SO much. Howard University missed out on one hell of a graduate this year. Rest in peace sis.

Stephanie Renee Darden,

Gorgeous flowers mean absolutely nothing without the substantial roots of the tree. Mom, people compliment me on my grace and keen mind. The woman I have become today would mean absolutely nothing without your foundation and investment in me. I finally did it. I am graduating on Sunday and I wish more than anything that you could see me crossing that stage. I did this for you. There were times that I did not want to face the day, but your investment in me was the motivation to breathe, to sit up, to push. Your love was the encouragement thus far and I love you so much for that. You always told me I was special. You always told me I was worthy of love, worthy of respect. Mom, the things you didn’t say were set in your example and I thank you. I have yet to see a stronger, more elegant woman and I do not think I ever will. There are some lessons that you did not get the chance to teach, but I realize that those moments help to construct who I am as Stevi. I would give anything to hear you screeching my name as I receive my diploma. I am resting assured, however, that you will be screeching from a front row seat in heaven. I love you, I miss you, rest in peace.

God,

I thank you for loving me and cherishing me throughout this process. I thank you for the plans you have for me that have yet to become a reality. I thank you for our relationship and your presence in my life. As hard as it is to say, I thank you for my heartache and loss. Those things made me strong and wise. Although I may lose sight from time to time, I know where my center is Lord … that is with you. Thank you for keeping me in my darkest hours and giving me the shine I do not deserve. You and I both know that it is merely your grace and mercy that allowed me to get this far. A lot of times, I teetered on the fence between tapping out and pushing forward. Thank you for the nudges. & God,THANK YOU FOR THE PEOPLE PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED, THEY COULD ONLY HAVE BEEN SENT BY YOU.

P.S. thank you to all who were not mentioned. I would have mentioned my dad and brother, but they don’t read my blog lol (I’ll just tell them in person). To Ron'nay, although we are new friends, i appreciate you being you. I hate that i just met you last semester and I hope we can remain friends forever! lol. My boys Justin, Darnell, Charles, and Gary - love you guys and thanks for being awesome. You guys are brilliant and fun and honest- so hard to come by. Love you. Thanks to the people who shared a kind word, encouraged me, and enriched my mind. & Thanks to the person who is proving that quality men still exist :) YOU ALL HAVE BEEN GREAT!

SPREAD THE WORD.

DENIM DAY - APRIL 25TH.

Numerous HBCU's and organizations across the country are coming together to ban against sexual assault and rape! Tomorrow, twitpic your denim day awareness (hash tag "denimday" of course) and show support.  "1 in 5 women & 1 in 33 men report they have been raped in their lifetime". We have mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, and girlfriends who are falling victim.


It is important to promote dialogues and discussions regarding sexual safety, college safety, administrative responsibility and outreach, & masculinity's role in these unfortunate statistics. As for the Atlanta University Center, there will be forums and tables tomorrow to get people involved and aware.


Hopefully, i will be able to post websites, videos, and photos of the event. 

how to raise a son in the midst of quicksand .

[I attended another forum at Morehouse about dating and domestic violence yesterday. I am accustomed to the back and forth and back and forth about "exclusivity" ... but the domestic violence portion caught me completely off guard.]

While the men were tip-toeing around the issue of domestic violence and abuse, the women were more vocal...in an unconventional way. A lot of women said that a woman should expect to be hit back if she hits a man first. While that comment was unconventional, i could almost understand the logic. So, i kept listening. Finally, a young lady said, "If a little girl hit my son, i would teach him to hit her back." Excuse my french, but i almost shit myself. & with that being said, i bring you this:

I WILL NOT allow my son to hit any female. ever. My son will understand that he is blessed with physical strength that is meant for lifting up and not tearing down. Biologically, most men are stronger than women and he will understand that he has a social responsibility to treat all women with respect, even when they do not deserve it. Living a full and gracious life is not about that seven year old girl with the pigtails in her head. No, it is about MY son and his understanding of SELF CONTROL.

He will understand that the true makings of a man lie in his understanding of responsibility, accountability, and self control. He will be responsible and accountable for his own actions. He will learn to excrete patience and control over his actions. If he decides that he will react out of anger and bitterness, then his progress (or lack there of) in highschool, college, and the workplace will be a reflection of that. I understand that the little girl with pigtails could easily be a loud mouthed mother of two kids. Neither of the two women will be slapped, kicked, punched, or verbally abused by my son. 

Ultimately, my son will understand that he is not putting his hands on a woman- not because she is a woman, but because she is a human. We have come too far to use violence as a means of resolution and my son will not need violence and hyper-masculinity to feel confident about himself. We (his mother and father) will instill that with substantial things. My son will use his power and strength to help, motivate, inspire, lead, and/or serve. He will not use said strength to hurt people. Some traditional views are traditional for a reason, and i will not gamble with my future son's integrity on the basis of trying to be "unconventional". So, NO... my son will not be pounding his fists into little girls.


Hmph ... over my dead body (and the ghostly corpses of victims passed).

thoughts dipped in snow

The Holidays. 

[The word holiday: derived from the notion of "Holy Day", and gradually evolved to its current form.]

Since I was accepted to Spelman College in 2008, I have really grown to appreciate the holidays...

Initially, being away from home was tough but only because of the culture shock. While I missed my dad, brother, friends and boyfriend (at the time), I halfway chose Spelman to escape the constant, gruesome reminder of my mother’s death two years prior. My life felt closed in and cluttered. Honestly, I thought Atlanta would be my sweet escape into the oblivion.

Silly me. Although I didn’t have to walk past her bedroom or drive by the hospital, my mother resurrected in other ways. When I left for school, I realized that she was more remarkable than I ever could have realized. What my mother instilled in me was more valuable than any AP class I took or any scholarship money. She gave me intangible things that Spelman couldn’t even begin to teach me. And I’m still trying to learn her tricks of trade- how to light up rooms with an entrance, how to ease a person’s soul, how to remain true to oneself, how to be salt to a tasteless world. Atlanta was a sweet escape- but only because the seclusion created a better place for me to marvel at my mother’s legacy.

In May, Samantha died. Just when I stopped walking on eggshells in life, one of my best friends died from sickle cell disease. They say you cannot truly see a situation clearly until you’ve had some distance from it. I’m still too deep inside that pain to understand like I want to. Yet, One thing is clear: Life and death are more fluid than most people know… so every breath, smile, laugh, cry, triumph and failure is valuable.

While you may ask what my mother and Samantha have to do with the holidays or even YOUR holiday, remember that the holidays are Holy Days. They are meant to transcend the trivial nonsense and shine light on the importance of God, family and friends. Being away from California taught me that the people I love would always impact my life, heavily- whether I am in my living room or 3,000 miles away. They will travel with me in memory, love, life or death. Embrace and cherish the people you love. 


Happy Holy Days ..

S O P H O [cant wait for] M O R E .

Well, as this semester comes to an end ...
i guess it's time to reflect on my Sophomore Year here at Spelman .

"SHEEEEEEESH !"

that's all .


lol , naw im playin . People say that Sophomore year is the hardest year of Spelman (although who ever said that was probably a Sophomore) . This year was challenging in so many ways and i actually don't have much to show for it . No awards, no trophies, no certificates, ... 2 scars on my elbows if that counts lol . Everything that i gained this year has been internal . I have met some people that truly pushed me to be a better me . Friends who told me when i was wrong, encouraged me to want better for myself, and entertained my long, dense thoughts at 2AM . Im finally confident in pursuing my career goals and im determined to get the most out of life .

Personally, i have learned about my weaknesses and flaws . I had to face them head on & address them this past school year . My past caught up to me in ways that i did not think possible, but i was able to find the good in the bad . I dealt with the weakening and strengthening of relationships around me . I met people who taught me to think differently about ... everything .I LOVED. I HATED. I found a nice little nook in between . Most importantly, i found that the one thing that was consistent throughout this year was GOD . With all of the Joy and pain, ups and downs, triumphs and failures, God remained firm by my side .

synopsis? we had bad times: low funds, dangerous situations, ridiculous professors, chi-burnt feet, tears, anxiety, weight gain [lol], sloppy moments and all of the above. we had good times: church, shopping, 10 pg paper all time record [pow! lol], homecoming 2009, roaming downtown ATL, hump wednesdays, 3am conversations, freestylin' at BY's, sitting in the lobby of the theaters, vibin; BTW, see 'kick ass' lol... anywho, it was all good .

yeaup, im a rising Junior :)

reflecting on spelman

i have a couple more weeks left until i head back home to california .
i think its only appropriate that i look back on the last couple of months & reflect ;

when i came to spelman college, i was excited but somewhat reluctant . i thought , "damn, i havent been here since my freshman year in highschool ... maybe i made the wrong choice." i suddenly had a thirst for LMU . but, i knew that i had to at least see if it was for me . i wished my mom was there to see me . man, she would be proud . but i digress .

i didnt know anyone when i got to spelman . except fatima & we were too busy being on our 'cool girl tip' to really kick it heavy. so i went through a heavy CALIFORNIA withdrawl . i missed beaches, good weather, mexicans, my fam & friends . i was so frickin depressed & i was so uncomfortable . everyone was talkin all this 'sisterhood and bonding' nonsense . i was skeptical to say the least ; & with good reason because a lot of girls are fake & phony . but no biggy ..

with more and more time, i grew to love spelman . the administration can suck my anus for all the bull they put us through ... but other than that , it was definitely a good fit for me . i found friends that didnt give into the "SPELMAN STUCK-UP" stereotype. friends who are too crazy to take themselves seriously. lmxo . the freedom to shape myself has definitely liberated me in a whole new way . i am comfortable in my skin , from chinese firedrills with the alphas, stepshows, late night missions, probates, to the hookah missions chillin, ... i have to admit i have made a new life in Atlanta .