SPREAD THE WORD.

DENIM DAY - APRIL 25TH.

Numerous HBCU's and organizations across the country are coming together to ban against sexual assault and rape! Tomorrow, twitpic your denim day awareness (hash tag "denimday" of course) and show support.  "1 in 5 women & 1 in 33 men report they have been raped in their lifetime". We have mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, and girlfriends who are falling victim.


It is important to promote dialogues and discussions regarding sexual safety, college safety, administrative responsibility and outreach, & masculinity's role in these unfortunate statistics. As for the Atlanta University Center, there will be forums and tables tomorrow to get people involved and aware.


Hopefully, i will be able to post websites, videos, and photos of the event. 

black sexual politics

[Ha. I went to another forum (i know, i know). The men of Morehouse were charged to read a book: Black Sexual Politics: African Americans, Gender and the New Racism by Patricia Hill Collins. Furthermore, the men were asked to go even further than read the text. They engaged in a discussion about black masculinity and implications this may have on black women.]

Honestly, i was impressed. Although i did not necessarily agree with all of the comments, it was refreshing to see that some men are seriously considering their place in society. Even more refreshing was the fact that these men were participating in a dialogue to mend unhealthy African American relationships. Too many times, men opt for the ignorance- perhaps to dodge accountability. My grandmother told me, "Stevi, the more wisdom God blesses you with, the more responsibility you are burdened with."

There was one point that i really had to spread on my blog. We were discussing "healthy relationships" and what it means to break the vicious cycle of violence and hyper-masculinity. Someone made this point:

A lot of times, we see our broken and dysfunctional families and think, "I have to be better than that." Rightfully so. However, we need to do more than that. We need to seek out what a healthy relationship actually is. Just because we push ourselves to do better than our predecessors does not mean that we have pushed ourselves far enough. For example, maybe you saw your mother being physically abused by your father. You tell yourself that you will never lay hands on a woman. However, you verbally and mentally abuse your wife because you do not understand that a relationship is made up of so many dimensions. You cannot see where you went wrong.

To be frank, we need to start mulling over some of these ideologies and relationships. They are killing us.

watered-down rape.

RAPE (n.)

1. the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.

2. any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.

I find it so interesting that dictionary.com uses the word, “duress” which means: compulsion by threat or force; coercion; constraint.

Convenience is the direct antithesis of sexual safety and responsibility. You see, men and women like to conveniently picture rape as a concrete scenario: a lost and bewildered woman wanders down a dark alley and a man in tattered clothes creeps out of the shadows and has his way with her. How closed minded is that? We have to stop “watering-down” such complex and saturated concepts such as sexual assault. Instead, we need to break down the common misconceptions: 

Rape is bad. I hate to talk down to people, but unfortunately, we live in a society that is so obsessed with alternative lifestyles that is does not acknowledge simple ethics. People do not want to face the fact that some things are blatantly wrong. RAPE IS WRONG. There is no way to justify making a person bend and/or shatter their sexual boundaries. The physical, emotional and psychological trauma is … life changing. The act of rape is disgusting, sick, and twisted. Plain and simple. Do not let someone justify raping or forcing someone to have sex.


YES. Rape can happen within a union. It’s interesting to me how couple’s are willing to surrender complete control over their bodies when they change their Facebook relationship status. That is problematic. Saying “no” should always be recognized, regardless of a committed relationship. Also, a person who loves you should respect your right to say no. There are plenty of women in Ghana whose husbands are raping them in order to make them bear children …children that they do not want to carry and/or cannot provide for. See, if you are a person who envisions women as merely vessels for penises and fetuses, then you should revisit your therapist and address your f*cking mommy issues.  That's sick.


Rape is unique, every time. Contrary to popular belief, there is no “one size fits all” reaction or scenario to rape. I have heard numerous stories about girls who have frozen up in those moments out of trauma, confusion, or shock. Just because she did not scream, kick, and punch a man in the face does not mean the sex was consensual or that the other person wanted sex. “She said we shouldn’t, but her eyes said she wanted it”, “I know when a girl is bluffing’” and other pathetic excuses have a severe stench of arrogance and inhumanity.  

let's talk about rape, bay-bee.

Dear Reader,

I want to first and foremost thank each and every one of you for taking the time to read my blog. I understand that you are busy being workers, students, friends, mothers, lovers, wives, husbands, and ultimately theorists. It is not going unnoticed and i appreciate you.

This next series is very important and dear to me. Unfortunately, i know/have heard of too many people who have been sexually assaulted and it is nothing short of horrific. After hearing brave stories and shedding numerous tears, i decided to write about this. While rape may seem like a "female thing", it is a human thing. I want women to seize their sexual sovereignty but i am also giving men some unseen insight into the complexities of rape.

I will provide creative writing, facts & statistics, personal advice/accounts, as well as dialogue about this topic that plagues THE GLOBE. if anyone has thoughts, topic suggestions, or anything regarding this blog series, feel free to DM me, facebook message me, or comment (if you wish to contribute anonymously, that's perfectly fine). Although this is an uncomfortable and controversial subject, i am a firm believer that true growth only happens outside of comfort zones. Here we go ..

All My Love,
Stevi Renee

@heartsNhandguns
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