blam .

screw college !
let me explain ...

for these past 3 and a half months, i have been working my patootie off . i have been writing essays, research papers, doing weekly journals, computer assignments, taking tests, going to the library, and missing numerous parties .

at first, i didnt resent school . i honestly feel like my brain is at capacity, and i like bein on my nerd tip at times lol . i enjoy learning new things and i feel proud of myself when i have my priorities in order .

BUT NOW, i finished all of my assignments, papers, projects, journals, and essays . . . & i cant relax for shxt . ahhhhh ! everytime i try to relax and watch tv, or facebook cruise . . . i have this horrible guilt in the pit of my stomach like im not being productive . i know, "spoken like a true nerd, right?" i know, i know (shameful face aha) . Eff spelman for making me feel like i need to do more .and eff Spelman for breeding these robotic, over achieving, 'facade' dependent women day after day lol . man , eff this anxiety .

. . . who knew a nineteen year old girl like myself would have to program myself to unwind ?