i am NOT Trayvon Martin

félicité: re-post from 2010

disclaimer: this is a dialogue. this post reflects a thought-process, but not necessarily my opinion. don't text or message me with questions lol. 
so, my friend asked "is it natural to love?"

are you kidding me ? who knew four words could make my face crunch up and my palms sweat ? she said, "we love our parents and we love our family and we love our friends (depending on who they are). But, romantically, is it natural to love people?"

that is a complex question . the love that we have for our family and friends is a completely different type of love than the one of our lovers . As opposed to talking to your friends and cousins every other day or week ,we drench ourselves in the people that we are in love with all the time . We make our world about them and they do the same for us . Is that healthy ? Is that natural ? Biologically speaking , we are made to reproduce . Our bodies attract to hormones in the opposite sex (subconsciously) to make babies . But all the extra: the yearning to talk to them everyday, the butterflies, the deep pit devotion . . . is it natural or societal constructed ?

the reality tv shows to find love , the love movies, the love songs, and the love poetry all tell us what we're missing or how to feel . the yoplait yogurt , special K, 24 hour fitness, weight watchers commercials that imply that eating healthy will make you attractive, hence ...help you find love . Has the media taught us that love is the ultimate thing to strive for in life ? maybe we hold on so tight to the people we are in love with because we know that they are hard to come by . Maybe we love so hard for the people we meet because they 'GET US' when no one else does .

when a girl tells a guy, "I love you, but more like a brother" . She means, "Psh. I could never revolve my world around you. I could never talk to you all the time. I could never imagine us kissing or fawning for each other." So, maybe someone can answer my question: Is romantic love a natural occurrence OR something that has been hyped up by the culture around us ? and if romantic love IS natural, why is it so different from other types (for example, the consequences of romantic love is heartbreak ) ?

The crazy part is: Even if we realized that romantic love isn't a "natural" thing , we would never give up on it because of our yearning to meet that special someone .

my people! my people! attn: sidelines ...

dear insecure girl,

he has a girlfriend . yes . this guy that you are facebook stalking, texting, sexing and pursuing . . . yes him . he has a girlfriend . you try to numb your mind from your conscience inside that tugs on your heart strings . you try to justify your actions with, "i don't even know her . i don't owe her anything ." mmm . don't you owe yourself something ? some self-respect, integrity or dignity ? i know those are big words that you have not yet grown into . all you understand is your tendency to perform like a retarded chimpanzee . hmm, i dont mean to sound like someone's grandma, but vital values have been lost in the ladies of our generation .

[yes, men are held accountable too & theyre wrong . however, this is addressed to my fellow women who allow this triflin' shxt to keep happenin' . so if you let that little fact cloud your judgement, start from the beginning and re-read with a clear mind ... like i was saying : ]

when a guy pursues me and he has a girlfriend, i know i deserve better than to be some boy's 'sideline ho' . even more so, i think about his girlfriend . i have seen too many girls distraught over their boyfriend cheating or leaving them for someone else . I DONT WISH THAT ON ANYBODY . trust me, i had to learn the hard way . i have BEEN the girl to swoop on another girl's man before and that is just BAD karma . i mean, i never crossed boundaries ...but i never drew the line either . isn't that just as bad ? what goes around comes around and trust me ... nobody cheat's God's lesson .

if stealing someone's boyfriend makes you feel 'good' about yourself than you're too insecure for life lol . if you think that qualifies you to be the 'baddest bitch' ...then you're a joke sweetie . being 'badd' doesn't mean opening your legs to make a man cheat . vagina is vagina , "he is not f*cking you for your mind" -thea monyee . messing with another girl's boyfriend only makes you look like a thirst-bucket slut who's desperate . not to mention you lose a lot of respect from people, they'll just call you a "snake" . but aren't you ? laying on your back & belly ... tryna tempt Adam & Eve from their focus ? HMMM, IM JUST SAYIN' LOL .

... to my friends [you know who you are] , dont give up on being good women . dont give up on love . lil ratchet girls always get what they deserve & with time, GOOD men eventually learn what's truly important in their woman . i love you guys :)

objects in mirror are closer than they appear .

why is SHE with him ?"

i always here this question thrown around in people's conversations . often times i feel like i ride the fence in terms of my feeling about that question . [not anymore]. Ever seen a drop dead gorgeous girl with a guy that you would label a '6' ? have you ever heard someone (have you ever BEEN that someone) say "Why is a cute girl like that , with a guy like him ?" OR on the other side of the spectrum , ever seen a really handsome guy with a boogawolf-looking girl ? Well . i respect those couples the most . you should too .

this first part is addressed to the men and women who constantly get grief about the looks of the people they are dating : to hell with society's opinion on YOUR connection with another person . if they want to measure the quality of your relationship on the basis of appearance, then they're clearly the ones with the problem . [Imagine this]: you and your gf/bf (whichever applies) walk into a room of your friends and your homies say, "whaaat are you doing with them ? you can do so much better?" AND you listen to them , turn towards your partner & say, "I think we should see other people." okay so ... what are you left with ? what satisfaction would you honestly get from that break-up ? your friends approval ? they (your friends) don't have to grow old and love someone, YOU DO . if you're happy with that person, it's your life .

Now, to the people who think they can be the Judge Mathis on relationship compatibility: who are we to tell someone that they shouldn't be with another person (based on appearance) ? you can date a girl who looks like say ...keri hilson... [lol] but she can be as interesting as watching paint dry . it's not right . the people who love for 'inner beauty' are the ones who get the most satisfaction out of love . i'm not saying that some people don't have BOTH beauty and personality (because a lot of people do) . BUT know this ... chemistry is not the same thing as inner beauty . finding someone who laughs at your corny jokes, understands your frustrations, knows you better than you know yourself, prays for you more than themselves ... that comes from the inside, but it comes from chemistry . basically, those couples get it , the superficial do not .

GO team 'V' !!

Arguably one of the most beautiful women in the supermodel industry and possibly world, Adriana Lima was a proud member of the V club . If you havent seen the Victoria Secret model on TV or in ads, you have to be blind !! The Brazilian native told GQ magazine in 2006 that she was a virgin, "Sex is for after marriage," she explained. "They [men] have to respect that this is my choice. If there's no respect, that means they don't want me."

In 2009, she married her NBA boyfriend Marko Jaric after dating for about two years and she gave birth to her child the same year . She is said to be a devout Christian and was focused on keeping her virginity until marriage. whatever . im just saying that it's still a possibility girls ! she is one of the most sought out women of our time and she stuck to her principles . So, if you want to wait, just know there are people who support you ;)

7 out of 10 times, girls tell me it wasnt worth it . girls tell me that they wish they wouldve waited . girls become emotional wrecks . girls cant handle the responsibility of their sex lives. Then about 3 of the 10 have something negative to say about my decision . are you kidding me? lol ... Im perfectly fine with my decision to wait & i dont press my views on anyone else . People choose what they want, but dont judge me for my views either . i just know this : "socially acceptable" will never be the determining factor of my actions . i dont really find it cool to try to be "cool" , 1 point for our side Adriana lol :)