félicité: re-post from 2010

disclaimer: this is a dialogue. this post reflects a thought-process, but not necessarily my opinion. don't text or message me with questions lol. 
so, my friend asked "is it natural to love?"

are you kidding me ? who knew four words could make my face crunch up and my palms sweat ? she said, "we love our parents and we love our family and we love our friends (depending on who they are). But, romantically, is it natural to love people?"

that is a complex question . the love that we have for our family and friends is a completely different type of love than the one of our lovers . As opposed to talking to your friends and cousins every other day or week ,we drench ourselves in the people that we are in love with all the time . We make our world about them and they do the same for us . Is that healthy ? Is that natural ? Biologically speaking , we are made to reproduce . Our bodies attract to hormones in the opposite sex (subconsciously) to make babies . But all the extra: the yearning to talk to them everyday, the butterflies, the deep pit devotion . . . is it natural or societal constructed ?

the reality tv shows to find love , the love movies, the love songs, and the love poetry all tell us what we're missing or how to feel . the yoplait yogurt , special K, 24 hour fitness, weight watchers commercials that imply that eating healthy will make you attractive, hence ...help you find love . Has the media taught us that love is the ultimate thing to strive for in life ? maybe we hold on so tight to the people we are in love with because we know that they are hard to come by . Maybe we love so hard for the people we meet because they 'GET US' when no one else does .

when a girl tells a guy, "I love you, but more like a brother" . She means, "Psh. I could never revolve my world around you. I could never talk to you all the time. I could never imagine us kissing or fawning for each other." So, maybe someone can answer my question: Is romantic love a natural occurrence OR something that has been hyped up by the culture around us ? and if romantic love IS natural, why is it so different from other types (for example, the consequences of romantic love is heartbreak ) ?

The crazy part is: Even if we realized that romantic love isn't a "natural" thing , we would never give up on it because of our yearning to meet that special someone .

reality television : lucifer's playground

            Reality television has always been so intriguing to me. Like mice and monkeys, men and women (more times women) are placed into a controlled environment and observed. There is only one significant difference - mice seem to have a bit more dignity than humans. Basketball wives: a show of bitter, fighting women whose existence depends solely on the fame of the men they dated. The Real Housewives series: a plethora of shows that degrade the sanctity of marriage and family values. 16 & Pregnant: don’t get me started. Tough Love: although i enjoy this show, it's just a contemporary rendition of Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew.  AND if I’m not mistaken, I think I saw an episode of The Jersey Shore in which a cast member pulled her dress up & pee’d behind the bar of a club. I guess mice and monkeys are not as fun to watch.

            Some people are stunned that viewers fall victim to the lies of reality television, screaming, “It’s all scripted and fake!” Tis true. Producers film a fake friendship among strangers, create the fights and altercations, and even script the lines. Yet, what’s even more interesting is the indirect reality of “reality shows”.  REALITY TV IS ACTUALLY REALITY. Beyond the producers and marketing, it is a harsh reality that people will beat each other’s brains out, participate in self-destructive behavior, have unprotected sex, and ruin their reputes for a dollar & "mini-fame". that's the reality in which i am a little more scared. 

            A professor of mine believes that our generation has “surveillance paranoia”. We are born into an era that is accustomed to being followed and watched. Chatrooms in middle school. Myspace and AIM in highschool. Facebook, twitter, blogs, tumblr, youtube, and every other way for people to watch you. Consequently, this gives us every opportunity to construct ourselves into who we want people to see. This lifestyle has plastered a concrete-solid façade on our personalities. We cannot even be ourselves when we are by ourselves because we constantly need to feed a persona. Honestly, perceptions are dangerous. While we're so busy manipulating people's perception of us, we're likely to LOSE OURSELVES in the process.

a prayer for the paper

media & cigarettes are synonymous .

poor little tiana . she wakes up drowing in audio floods of breast enhancement deals . with crust in her eyes & scarf on her head she looks into the mirror . glass doesnt need to be shattered to cut . it takes a soldier to see one's beauty in a battle of negativy .
so back to tiana:
she walks down the street to Insecurity High School [off of melrose btw] . She lifts her head & see's dollar signs in the clouds . money might as well be there, she knows it aint in her pocket . she steps in somethin, bullshxt . girls with sandyblonde hair & prada shades plague her while in class . she looks to her left , unaffordable uggs . she looks to her right, dolce&gabbana handbags that whisper snickers and laughter . Tiana turns on her ipod to block the baracade of pain . "money....blah blah...honey with the long hair & light skin...blah blah...ten drinks at the bar...blah blah...car with rims....". she cant escape the poison .

beyonce in leotards & heels . ciara in a mid-drift & sweats . those spandex tight girls in the dream's video . keri hilsons legs .ashanti's weave . okay, not ashanti's weave .

.. middle finger to the people who think they can tell me what i am . middle finger to the bastards who try to convince me that im not skinny enough, thick enough, light enough, that my hair is long, that my booty isnt big, that im flat chested, that im not sexy enough, that im too smart, that im not thee epitome of who i want & need to be . psh, who the f*ck are you anyway ?