... in a perfect world

in a perfect world ...

you wouldnt be wrong for falling in love quickly.
there would be no fault in asking him to meet your parents.
the question, "where do you see this going" wouldn't be equated to an atomic bomb explosion.
you wouldn't have to spread your eggs in numerous baskets to avoid heartbreak and headache.
showing emotion wouldn't constitute being labeled as "crazy"

but we do not live in a perfect world. falling in love is considered taboo and naive instead of what it truly is- courageous and brilliant. asking a man that you care about to meet your mother is an act of respect and care. instead, men think that you want to handcuff them to your bedpost and never leave the house. in this world, being "too nice" gets you taken advantage of and walked all over like a weakling. in the "real world", emotions make men run for the hills and spending your time with one man is a disaster waiting to happen.

you know, i always hear guys talk about "wifey types" but i'm not sure if that is a legitimate point of discussion. PLENTY of women have proven to be capable of love, nurture, and devotion. Yet, they are constantly punished for displaying those traits at full capacity. now, we have every woman running around trying to be some 2012 Stepford Wife. They want to master their cooking, cleaning, birthing, sex domanatrix tricks, refinement, business acumen, and fashion sense - just to be some barbie doll that shapeshifts into what a man wants.

Honestly, I'm tired of seeing so many women beating themselves to a pulp because they feel inadequate and small. Although perfect worlds do not exist, you can get dangerously close. It is okay to give thick, full love. It is okay to ask about the status of a relationship. It is okay TO BE YOU - not some steroid-genetically altered, plastic version of you. at the end of the day, hold men to the same standard as you hold for yourself.

Pretty Girl [Knock] it Off...

as spring break approaches, women are stepping their game up. 

we are plucking, tweezing, WEAVING, WAXING, dieting, s h o p p i n g, & prepping for sandy beaches and sunny skies. i've noticed, however, that somewhere along the fresh pressed hair and trying on bathing suits ... we tend to dress ourselves in a layer of arrogance as well.

[i was sitting on campus the other day and noticed a girl at the counter of our coffee shop. she was busy fixing her drink and her hair was freshly done, nails done too. a young man walked up to the girl and told her she was beautiful. She laughed, muttered, "thank you", rolled her eyes and turned her back to him. he walked away, essentially looking like someone stole his bike.]

i wonder... where is our sense of humanity? who are we (girls) to treat guys with so much disrespect? i always consider how hard it must be for men to approach us and ask us out. If i'm ever awkward, it's because I'm a little embarrassed from the attention (depending on the approach). women get so caught up on feeling themselves that they don't want to humble themselves. mind you, we paint our faces in tubs of make-up, wear push-up bras, weave, fake nails, eyelashes, and God knows what else. I'm not saying anything is wrong with that, but lets be honest. Why do we think we're so high and mighty when half of our "beauty" is accredited to the products we buy on our credit cards? 

A guy recently told me that he always sees me talking to "weird niggas". I laughed a little and said, "Maybe they're weird, but i like their conversation. They have strong intellect." First off, no salt nor shade thrown on the person who told me that- that is their opinion. Yet and still, i have come to find that i cannot have stimulating, three hour conversations with a man's Concords or Mercedes Benz. I love a man with impeccable style JUST AS MUCH as i love a man with a keen mind. If i walked around dismissing every guy deemed "weird", it would be a disservice to myself and my potential growth as a person. Who am i to decide if a guy is worthy of respect? worthy of being treated with decency? I just think that is something worth considering ... 

 

duality. nerd versus nigga. [thanks gabbbbs lol]

dancing ribbons .

sometimes when i stare at my tattoo , i wonder what i truly did to myself .
but then it hits me .

everytime my pupils gaze over my wrist, my mind is rushed to the hospital room .
my mind is rushed to radiation treatment rooms .
my mind is rushed to memories & thoughts .
my mind is rushed to that wednesday of 06 . the septembers of all septembers .

my mother always told me, "dont lose who you are" .
for years, i tried to remain exactly the same . but as my prom came and went . my boyfriend came and went . my brother got taller . my realities got bigger . as the seasons changed . . . so did i . change is inevitable . but my tattoo is permanent . my soul is permanent . the fundamentals are instilled . 'who i am' is planted & can never be lost .

my wrists are the same things that are raised with my fists .
my wrists, the skin that is inked with the constant reminder of embracing each day .
as i write my papers, im reminded .
when i get dressed, im reminded .
when i raise my hand in class, im reminded .

but more importantly, when i live ... people are enlightened . moving through my everyday, one more person gets to know that breast cancer is real . that early detection is real. that courage is real . if you pick nothing up from me, take my wrists as a parting gift .