finding your inner fortune teller.

[So, I'm sitting here watching "Tough Love: New Orleans". Their exes were reintroduced and these women didn't know how to react. One woman hides in her closet, having a panic attack. Another woman allows her ex to come back and make her feel insecure about her looks .. again. It made me wonder how these middle-aged women ended up this way. I could honestly say it stems from a lack of fortune telling.]

When I say "fortune telling", I'm not referring to crystal balls and reading of palms. I think every woman reaches a pivotal moment in her relationship when she is forced to reevaluate - "Is this relationship going in a positive or negative direction"? I have often told my friends (the ones in unhealthy relationships), "Imagine yourself in this same predicament ... three years from now. Five years from now. Seven. Can you deal with the tears and headache that long?" Honestly, the years can pass in a blink of the eye when you are too busy being emotionally abused, cheated on, and lied to. Before you know it, you are waist deep in a dangerous relationship that you cannot escape. It's SO easy to get there.

I don't know why young women think that their insecurities are simply something that they will "grow out of". Insecurities, untreated, can grow into a cancerous virus that ruins your life. Basketball Wives, Housewives of New Jersey/Beverly Hills/New York/Chino..whatever... they're all examples of people who have let their insecurities get a hold of them. They're all examples of women who let men manipulate those insecurities to get what they wanted. Insecurities - your face, your smarts, your circumstances, your lack of financial stability, whatever. Each one of those women reached a crossroad when they could have left or stayed. They stayed, blinked, and ended up in detrimental, ten year + relationships... without love, without commitment, without confidence. In fact, it seems like the only time these women are sure of themselves is when they're fighting out of embarrassment or crying out of shame.

One of the best feelings in the world is having a guy look at you like he understands and appreciates who you are. One of the worst feelings is seeing the same guy look at you like your interchangeable. Don't become so addicted to the first feeling that you ignore the latter. When you do that, you forget what you deserve and become accustomed to taking what you can get. 'Tis all.