say what's real.

i look at my life like a huge jawbreaker ;

                                                            i suck at it.  

so i sucked at life,

i licked through the many layers trying to get to the core -pushing and weaving through. i licked through the 'trying to fit in' stage when i felt like an outsider and social deportee . contrary to popular misunderstanding, America's broken-record routine is to find the newest alternative lifestyle . the new trend is to flee as far as possible from tradition & 'boxes' . i found at a young age that morale, faith & self-actualization are 'boxes' that i wouldn't mind sitting in . SILLY me .

i licked through the layer of superficiality. they say money doesn't buy happiness, they lied . that's why people are so confused . they buy a Ferrari and feel this sensation in their bellies . they swipe their credit card to buy that watch and tingle inside . see, money can buy happiness ... but it can't buy Joy . they are two different things . happiness is a quick high that leaves you smiling until you're ... not. Joy is the emotional, physical, and psychological land of milk & honey . it's a peaceful state of calm & contentment ... money is simply theoretical paper.

ahh, i licked through the false sense of affection . we go through life with family and parents that care, however in the back of our minds we wonder: "they (our family) love us because they have to . will there ever be anyone who loves me on purpose? (lol) will there be someone who sees something special in me ?" therefore, we search life for someone who cares ... and we run smack dab into infatuation . it feels cool when you're in high school and someone is obsessed with you (and vice-versa) lol . unfortunately, that dynamic is not about the two of you ...it's about the one of you . one person is obsessed about being adored, and the other one is doing the exact same thing . people are simply using & using without being accountable for the catastrophe that comes later .

finally, i reached the core . i don't mean to sound cliche, but there's a reason why love is so popular. i need people to see love, not as a 90's R&B song, and not as a cheesy romance movie . those things are simply simulations of 'real love' ...those things are cheap, body spray scents, but hardly the real thing . Love, real love, is so selfless and unstable that it's rulebook only states, "one size fits all ." it's a scary thing, because it is so untamed & addictive, you become scared that you'll get lost somewhere between bliss & armageddon . But displaying love is all that matters; it is the only good, strong thing left in the world . IT IS OF GOD . Agape.

"Three things will last forever - faith, hope and love - and the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13