red or green pill .

This is one of the hardest times of my life . not the absolute hardest (ive been through worse), but definitely one of the most challenging . this raw, vulnerable situation had me on the edge & frustrated beyond the capacity of my mind and spirit . i feel like im living in an outer body experience ... watching things blindside me & i cant hear myself -screaming at the top of my lungs .

But God is good . if i let life bully me around, what fun would that be ? something as trivial as money, haters, and doubt can not get in the way of the story i will tell . afterall, i am a story teller right ? this "raw" situation is being marinated by my hardships & experiences ... i know what the end result will be and that's all that matters . the lord brings something positive out of every situation (adversity, loss, relationships, & friendships).

I'm not going back this fall . finding out something like that (2 weeks before you planned to leave) can produce a volatile psyche . but i once heard someone say, "if you're going through hell ... keep going" . ill be back to my school in spring with a pocket FULL of cash and a story to tell ; you cant get rid of me that easily . it's crazy cause that sentence was addressed to life, not my school ...

Glory to God always ... who gives me the strength, confidence, & love enough to keep moving forward .