we live . we love . time to learn .

i often wondered if Jesus was the ultimate forgiver, or the ultimate pushover .
i sat in my room strumming my fingers against the many fine lines of the two possibilities
... creating acoustic sounds .
each time i struck the strings with my strumming, a cord of guilt would beam through my soul .
'who am i to ask that question?' i thought .

then i ran to go pee .
it may sound irrelevant, but it's not . you see, my heart had been so heavy lately, that it sunk from my chest and tumbled on top of my bladder . all i could do was pee .

"when is enough, enough ?" i asked . then the question morphed into a whale , a massive something that sprouted all of my answers and peace from its blowhole . forgiveness is not the act of being a door mat . forgiveness is letting go of animosity . digging through the mud to find the sparkling peace in a situation . taking your time . at it's peak, forgiveness is learning to love someone, but also learning how to put your integrity on the forefront .

Jesus was not a pushover . he loved, but never let it COMPROMISE what he believed in . he never let a situation bend his character like foil . about two weeks ago, i stopped the strumming of my questionnaire guitar & thanked God for his forgiveness . . .