2010, get it together .

kill that picturesque illusion of your fairy tale .
slash those weights of "ravishing romance" that keep you hindered .

"I know he's no good for me , BUT . . ."

today, i speak from a perspective of the friend who gives advice . today, i speak from the angle of the friend who is tired . fed-up . confused . guilty . worried . abused. misunderstood and sick .

I am a listener , but i am not a subdued one . I am speaking today for every girl who is the "mom" of the group or the "advice giver" of their friends or even just a "comfort giver" . We dont like your F-grade, no-good, lying, disrespectful, abusive (physically, emotionally), deceitful, cheating, arrogant, manipulative, insecure boyfriend . HELLOOOOOO ? As a caring, honest friend, . . . why would i be okay with seeing my bestfriends cry everynight ? why would i be content knowing that my friend thinks of herself as less than the queen that she is ? how can you expect me to support the distruction of my friend's self-esteem, future, and possibly life ?

We [the listening friends] are tiredddd of hearing you lie to us and say that youre done with him (for the 20,000th time) . We are tired of you telling us that 'he aint shxt' and seeing him in your car in two days . We are tired of hearing this same thing : "Im not perfect like you" "Im not as strong as you" "I cant BE you" . No one is asking you to be us . We are asking you to appreciate & love yourself . That's all . The phone calls at 3am crying . The emo days . WE, the ones who love you, are tired .

stop holding on to some fabricated fairy tale . cause in all actuality , aholes dont change after the 5th screw up . i dont know what novel you were reading . . . smh . have some diginity in yourself and take what you deserve in life ! perhaps you dont have faith in a happy ending at all ?

signed,

the fed-up, overworked friend .

leather gloves

strength is a blessing and a burden .
strength builds you up ,
but sometimes it makes you press your thumb on people .

it makes you stern in your presence ,
however, strength can also make you stubborn in your stance .
you stand for a lot & compromise little .
often misinterpreted as full of limit . boundary .

people are often afraid of strength and they pretend like they want to be more 'flexible' .but clay-type people will only be who they are until the air decides for them to dry . then they are simply stuck with the result, with no say so of their own . it's kind of like the 'Riddler' ride at six flags . you shift up and down when you get in your seat & when it locks . . . you're stuck .

it's foolish to assume the world will go 'easy' on you .
it's foolish to believe that one drop of adversity will give you a pass for the rest of life's tribulations .
true, blessings come everyday and so often, but a lot of the time . . . those blessings come disguised in a mask of pain and growth .

tough skin .

society poison .

i never knew there was a place in the back of the mind that you could hide things .
i believe in the subconsious and conscious thoughts that wanna comb through our thick, stubborn brains .
but this is different .

i never knew there was a place, a section in the back of the mind that acted as a prison for particular memories, thoughts, and realizations .
bars extended from the floor of your brain to the ceiling of it .
they're electrical, steal, cold, and unreal .
at the front lie guard dogs that snarl at the impression of an approach .

but to me, they couldnt be more restraining . as soon as i reach for a fun time or an emotion, my body shuts off just long enough for me to back away . sometimes living in a state of numbness is better than a constant pain that melts the mind into a puddle of "whoa is me".

However, these memories and thoughts have been wrongfully imprisoned .
guiltiness swarms my body paralyzing me from moving forward in other aspects of life.
i owe it to her to set them free , but its all about preservation .
i cant guarantee that a mass release of the prisoners wont cause a mental breakdown .
so, ill release one by one slowly until we can coincide .

grief is the DNA of despair ; everyone's different .

stephanie renee darden

the epitome of a mother . my bestfriend . the strongest, most courageous woman i ever knew . september of 2006 was the hardest month of my life . but when you left, you gave me your hips, & smile, but most importantly ... your strength .


ill never truly be able to express how i feel about my mom in words . words are my paint . but when it comes to this woman, the canvas is better blank . i love you . i miss you more each day . happy mother's day .