fancy philosophy .

i wonder if Socrates knew that his statement was profound,
"i know that i know nothing".

it never fails to intrigue me when people brag about "knowing who they are". me ? i am complex, delicate, strong, smart, pretty, ugly, dark, humble, outspoken, introverted, and numerous other adjectives that could fill volumes of books . i am proud to admit that i am not boring enough to understand myself. with all of my layers, i could never be decoded within 20 measily years.

if you still surprise yourself, you don't know yourself. events throughout life crack open rusty, emotional vaults within ourselves that we did not know existed. i never knew i had a cold, bitter bone in my body until my mother died. i never thought i could be upset with God until my mother died. i never thought i could make peace with God and have a better relationship then before ... until i did . i cannot speak for every one's dark time . hell, i cant even say that everyone has had a "dark time". sometimes the heroes perish and the villains get married & live happily ever after. all i know is that i know nothing .

time and circumstance place velvet soft layers and masks on us as humans. when girls become mothers, i would imagine they find a gentleness that has been buried due to past trials. when men become fathers ... they become killers - willing to dismantle and diminish anything that stands in the way of their little girl's happiness. we strap on our career layers on with time, our husband/wife layers on with time, drug addict layers, alcoholic layers, gold-digger-man-hating layers ... with time . you never thought you could be INSECURE until that freak accident that left 75% of your body burned. you never thought you'd date the 'good guy' until the bad boys left you heartbroken. you can't believe you were dumb enough to think that there was even two types of guys in the first place. we learn, we dig within, we discover the artifacts of our soul. if you think you know yourself, you won't until you inhale you're last breath and lock it away in the depths of your body.

i do not understand humans .
i do not understand the government .
i do not understand myself half the time .

Socrates was wrong, i KNOW one thing. it is a dehydrated, fools gold trap to believe that you've figured yourself out . all we can do as humans ... is let God unwrap the beautiful things we are.