sending this with love & disappointment .

im probably going to offend people with this post . but wait , when am i supposed to care ?

"Give it to me, gimme thatfunkthatsweethatnastythatgushystuff ...."
it's four am on a tuesday night and i roll over to pick up my phone underneath my pillow . my eyes can barely adjust to the dark but it's flashing blue lights & the sidekick is blinking my friends' name . "wassup," i say while trying to organize my brain . sob sob sob . all i can hear is her sniffing up her snot & a shortness of breath . "It's okay, what did he do?"

the sad part is, i couldnt even put a name into that story . Not because of privacy purposes, it's because i couldnt possibly name all of the people who deal with the same nonsense . after the 50th call about a boyfriend cheating or a girl 'claiming' to sleep with your man OR a guy disrespecting you ... im bewildered lol . excuse me for laughing, but seriously...its kind of funny .

okay we have:
1. the girlfriend whose boyfriend cheats: look, if your boyfriend has cheated on you more than twice (once for me) than his habits are not going to change . i know youre scared that he "might change this time", please . people slip up, but then again ... boys get away with what they think they can . forget what you think you want ... why would he even deserve you ? why do you feel so poorly of yourself that you think he's worthy of your dedication and love and faithfulness after he cheated on you ? "I LOVE HIM" . so what . do you love yourself ? boys can smell insecurity like sharks to blood . No one can love a person who cant love themselves . A man who loves you would not want to see you crying and lookin like shxt . point, period, blank . and if you disagree, then your idea of love is in disarray . if you look in the mirror and see someone that you dont like as a result of him ... he's not good for you . he's not the one . that's an obvious red flag .

look . let me tell you, with time...you can get used to anything .

you can used to him not being there anymore . it will be HARD,

but theres a 80 percent chance that you probably need to focus

more on yourself anyway . you will survive without him . i promise.

2. the basketcase: me and fatima often get attacked by our friends (haha) because we usually see where a guy is comming from . we dont justify cheating, but we dont put it past a guy to screw you over . if you meet a guy and sleep with him in a week and he stops calling ... yeah, youre a dummy . talkin bout "he doesnt even wanna get to know me" ... why would he? it isnt like youre girlfriend material . it already seems like you dont have the confidence to hold a conversation to sustain a hold on him . some guys can respect a girl who does that kinda stuff...but i have ALOT of guy friends , i know what im saying .

3. the doo doo mother: i think the most ignorant song ive ever heard was, "he's mine...you may of had him once but i got him all the time" . dont ever be a dude's "main" . one time, a girl told me that her boyfriend said, "i mess with both of you because she has something you dont. and you have something that she doesnt". Well if you two are "in love"..then you should be his everything... not his %50 . you know he has other girls, but you settle for that distorted sense of contentment because you dont think you can find better ... trussssst me, you can .

i wish i could just tell girls how much greener this side of the situation is . That they dont neeeed a guy. How desperate they are making themselves out to be . its always the gorgeous, smart, talented, generous who settle for the guy who is disrespectful, unfaithful, and lacking ambition .

i would be willing to bet my next paycheck to tell you that you can find better ..with unwavering standards, confidence, and focus on oneself .

...if you disagree, tell me . if you have another topic for me to address...hit it up .

All my love, stevi renee .