6.30.2011

happy belated birthday, stevi.

OH ! i turned 21 on sunday. i would tell you all about it, but ... you know. anywho, i want to thank everyone who wished me a great day, showed love, or simply gave me a little thought. it was greatly appreciated :)

i don't know what TWENTY ONE means exactly, but i can sense that this marks a different chapter in my life that will exceed anything i did before. I am finding so much peace with life - all of the triumphs, joys, tragedies & everything in between. God is allowing me to see things in a new, vibrant, enlightened way. I'm just so grateful. I love myself and i'm feeling like the world is my playground. (i wonder if i sound extremely crazy, lol...nevertheless, i have never had so much clarity).

I also want to acknowledge my sister Samantha who passed away. I thought about her a lot on my birthday and i wish she could have been here to scream at me through the telephone. I'm going to use her legacy as a constant internal reminder to cherish everyday and accept nothing but the absolute best for myself.

6.28.2011

never regret loving in permanent ink...

PTSD: post traumatic slave disorder


I am not perfect. In fact, I am far from the standard of perfection. When I write about the many aspects of life –whether it is music, dating, God, or self-actualization- I’m striving to spread a sense of consciousness. I do not write to formulate some “sound doctrine” of living or create the new mold of societal behavior. I find human complexity to be beautiful and something worth preserving.

Nevertheless, we live in an age that is unlike any other before us. I remember reading “Letters to a Young Brother” (because I’m ridiculous) and Hill Harper tells his reader that he is the next and newest model of human. Like a car, each preceding creation is better than the next. Even though we have the tools and intellect that surpasses our predecessors, we still find pleasure in ignorance. Quite frankly, it is disheartening. It baffles me.

We revolve around worldstarhiphop and celebrity gossip. If there is anything “new” in the media, we “play pretend” internally- disguising our entire mindset. We're Obsessed with alternative lifestyles and trends that are merely replicas of things done in previous generations. We’re an arrogant generation – pretending that the Madonna’s, Marilyn Manson’s, Prince’s, and Oscar Wilde’s did not exist before us ... the "real" rockstars. We are master pretenders, the aesthetic remixers -simply imitating the prototype and calling it our own. We confine ourselves to the smallest possible versions of ourselves and trick ourselves while we bathe in our complacency.

I always pray for my generation. I don’t care if they make stupid decisions or even if they’re disrespectful. I care about their oblivious mindset – absolutely clueless about the way the world is molding their perspectives on life, without their permission. I have never seen so many people caught up in the most trivial things. There are BILLIONS of people in the world. There are other countries, REAL misery & joy across the ocean, stories to be told in your grandmother’s kitchen, memories to be had outside of our facebook accounts, books to be read, revolutions to jumpstart and life to be embraced.  there are things that are bigger than this nonsense - eternal concepts that the human language is not complex enough to define. Until we can get in touch with our spirituality and being,  We’ll always be slaves. 

6.22.2011

oh, language .. mm.

"We are unraveling our navels so that we may ingest the sun. 

We are not afraid of the darkness. 

We trust that the moon shall guide us. 

We are determining the future at this very moment. 

We know that the heart is the philosopher's stone. 

Our music is our alchemy." 

— Saul Williams

:)