..because a bird pooped on my leg when i was 8 & i never bounced back.

where do insecurities come from?
i know we all claim to be confident and secure in who we are .. and we ride clouds & grant three wishes & other ridiculous claims to fame.
nevertheless, we ALL have insecurities.
even the "coolest", "socialite-est", most attractive people have moments when they feel like losers.
even more so, we have little insecurities because of the lives we live when no one is around. 

it's hard to feel glamorous when you're on the toilet. (just stating the facts.)
it's hard to feel cool when you're at home & you accidentally walk into a wall lol.
dancing in front of the mirror naked or daydreaming about a crush are things that no one else gets to see.
yet and still, singing off-key in the shower OR messing up the lyrics to rap songs are the pinnacle of one's soul !
waiting anxiously on someone's text message.
the right boob thats bigger than the left.
the exes that we're not over.
the abuse we try to tune out.
the scars cover with make-up.

these nuances are at the core of each and every one of us . unfortunately, some people are ashamed of these kinks. they want to be manikins - made of plastic and perfection. NO SUCH THING.
our embarrassing and/or raw moments and thoughts are the things that humble us all the same. so the next time you're at home and fall down the stairs or pick your nose... realize that it's all about character building.

p.s. that little bundle of joy on ely's forehead is helga. yeaup, we named her. 

twitfaceaimspace .

twitter post: out with my girls .
twitter post: @friend said the funniest thing .
twitter post: i love my boyfriend .
facebook status: i hate work .
facebook status: going to Malibu .

we are so busy trying to 'post' our lives that we barely live them . i decided that I'm going to cut down on my facebook, twitter, & aim usage . i just believe that the hours i spend on these networking sites could be used for better things .

People rely so heavily on facebook, myspace, twitter & aim to display their lives to the world . They re so eager to prove to everyone that they have a life that they forget to have one. we post pictures of the dinner party we went to . we upload photos of our times at the beach . we take pics at the mall, at kickbacks, ALL the time . it seems like we're more concerned with everyone else's perception of our lives , instead of taking in the memories for ourselves ! A lot of the time, wall posts, 'likes' & comments cause more harm than good .

You can't upload love at first sight. You can't put an away message of the feeling you get when you jump into a swimming pool at 3am . . . naked . You cant post your ambition , your shame, your success, your emotions . You can try as much as you want, but life is to be lived . . . not tagged . So, im giving it a rest .

girls just wanna have fun :)

i sat in dennys the other day with my bestfriends .
"stevi, you need to stop playing around all the time & commit ," said sam .

i smiled .

yesterday i was chillin with some friends . my guy friend said, "i am done with girlfriends . its nothing but drama . imma just wait until im done with school and lookin for a wife" . i mean, he was loaded, but whatever lol . once again, i smiled .

relationships . im not going to act like they have absolutely no significance . when two people have a connection and want to be exclusive with one another then i can see why they would enter a relationship . but people love to cheat . lmao . what's the point of spiritually connecting with someone when they intend to stray anyway ? people use relays as an excuse to put ties on a person so no one can have em . however, if people treat their boyfriend/girlfriend like a trophy rather than a friend...they lose their sense of humanity for the others feelings .

i am a firm believer in honesty as the best policy . with time, you learn that honesty is a nasty pill to take...but a lie is one that you will probably choke on . ladies, if a guy tells you that he's not looking for a relationship ...and you are...then walk away. dont hang in there with hopes that he'll 'come around' & then have an attitude with him when he wont commit a year later . Being exclusive with someone is a big step and dont expect him to only mess with you unless you discuss it and agree to it (whether or not he'll have the integrity and character to stand by it is a whole new blog lol) . so basically, the moral of the story is .. communication, honesty & trust . try it ?

so, until i feel the need to deal with all of that ^ ...or come across a guy who can bring peace to my life rather than the drama ... ill just live a little & smile .

song to explain : be by myself by asher roth ft. cee-lo