give props where they are needed .

so basically , this topic is crucial and iman basically reads my mind :
http://stfuimtlkn.blogspot.com/2009/07/making-it-work-explain.html

my response:

umm . thats real , lmbo . "making it work" does require some flexibility and some compromise . even though the phrase "making it work" is supposed to be a positive one, it often means biting your tounge and dealing with certain things that you dont want to i.e. disrespect, lying, cheating, etc . when i say 'dealing with', i dont mean tolerate ... i mean addressing , talking about, facing the issue . when it comes to making a relationship last, there will always be bumps in the road . people disrespect other people all the time, but you just have to use your better judgement and decide what is 'fixable' . contrary to popular belief, a lot of the time ... boyfriends dont cheat with the intention of hurting their girl . nevertheless, they may not be mature enough or love you enough to choose better judgement . everyone messes up (not necessarily cheating, cause thats not okay .. but in some kind of capacity) . FOR EXAMPLE, i messed up (no homo) and left iman hanging last weekend . it was unintentional and i didnt mean to upset her ...but nevertheless, i did . so, its up to her to decide that its tolerable or unexcusable . its the same in a relationship , you have to decide what can be forgiven and what cannot .

"with me , when the going gets tough , it's time to get going . ive never been the type to sit around and try . after a f*ck up or two , i'm out ! you can ask anyone who knows me well . "

having a successful relationship is about knowing what you want . it's about knowing what you will and will not tolerate . some people cant tolerate cheating . some people cant tolerate being lied to . some people cant tolerate a loud mouth . some cant tolerate a bad kisser . so you should never feel bad about leaving a relationship . keep it 100 with the person youre dating about what you want, and if they cant honor that .. perhaps you arent meant to be . God has somebody out there for everyone, but itll still take work regardless . pray to God for wisdom and clarity . "love" is not letting someone walk all over you and hurt you , because chances are that they dont love you in the same capacity . being in a mutual, [mature] love means that the two people are working as hard as they can to keep the relationship healthy & happy .

sheesh ! what a loaded topic . iman, you didddd that though :) follow her blog ;

not so simple .

correction:

my blog is the content of who i am . what's more personal than someone's thoughts expressed through writing, pictures, youtube videos & links ? i mean i could tell you in person, but a lot of the time ... people arent in the mood to hear what youre saying . they arent interested . i often say random thoughts to my friends & they look at me like i spoke in chinese. when it comes to a blog, people make the choice to see what you're talking about . so with that said, my blog is real . real in a sense that im not holding back, what i say is legit .

i say this because (from an outside perspective) it may seem like my blog world and the real world contradict themselves . for example,
* i say that i wanna just chill at the house, order pizza and watch a movie with my man ... lay in my pj's with my hair tied up. ha, but i dont mention that i cant get that comfortable with a guy until i trust him enough to see me in that light .
* i complain that heels hurt my feet, but not that they are bomb & are crucial for a "omgawdshebaddd" moment .
* if someone doesnt know me very well, i tend to be quiet because i like to observe & listen . it's not a weakness, it's a strength . those who truly know me also know that i am rarely one to hide my opinion .

as cool as blogging is (for so many reasons), it cannot adequately provide a perfect idea of a person . people are complex, & as much as i can appreciate simplicity ... its rarely in my life . i like boots but can digg a good barefoot moment . i pig out on food, but i secretely yearn to eat healthier (not gunna happen though haha) . i like to treat people with respect, but i am also very critical of what the world has become . i say all of this to make a point: too bad i forgot what it was ... haha ! chow .