-the right thing-

"i still remember those cashmere eyes, that gaze so soft against my cheek . the gaze on nights when the moon would reflect off of your marble-like skin . yes, i still remember . Yet, i still remember how you put my joy in the state of intermission ."

i always said i wanted someone that had an actual connection with my soul . i wanted someone that "got me" : my sense of humor, my intelligence, my drive . it's crazy how you ask God for something, and when you get it ... you realize that you needed a bit more . there's this nauseating feeling when this happens, like you're being a brat at Christmas because your parents got you the wrong Cabbage Patch Kid -[even though you never told them which kind to get] -. Nevertheless, these instances are God's way of giving lessons . We think we know what we need SO BADLY and God shows us what's real .

A connection with my soul : what does that even mean ? well, i neglected a huge part of my soul ... and that would be the space occupying God . to connect and grow with me, means to connect and grow in God as well . I may stumble, but something is comforting about a strong presence to help me get up & back on track . A man who not only respects my lifestyle, but encourages it . support paints resilience in a person and that's a vital part of 'the connection' . something is sexy about a guy who is firm in his beliefs . similarly, my morals & values are not in play-dough form either .


& to be honest, i don't worry about "burning bridges" . there's no point worrying about bridges when they weren't going in the direction you wanted ... remember that .

love & landmines .

when i first heard the idea, "love is like a battlefield", i thought it was cheesy . i thought it was some kind of lazy comparison that was supposed to make people say, "aww" . But i still think it was said with little effort to make people feel like "loving" someone was a struggle . but love is not like a battlefield . On the contrary, it is more majestic than detached limbs & bloody guts .

comparing love to a battlefield is like gnawing at the face of a sunset. what a blatant disregard for the positive attributes of a timeless treasure ? Love can be a gentle thing, a kind thing, a selfless thing, a thing that keeps us warm when we are cold at night . In the midst of danger, love can sweep you off of your toes, turn around, and fire at the enemy . With the latter being said, that's the only comparison that love deserves in relation to war .

Love is not always kicks and giggles . Yes, some of those kicks are to the groin . . . but it is significant . Love Is Significant . It's the yearning you feel when you want them around . It's the feeling of vulnerability when you share one of your deepest secrets . It's the hope and wanting for more time together . It's the feeling of security from 3000 miles away . The hardest part about love is about the giving and taking . Love is knowing that things have a huge probability to fall apart ... and pushing forward regardless . "sometimes the things that scare you the most, are the things you need the most " that's love .