puzzle peace.

"because trumpets & 808s are making love in my head."
i guess that's what i wanted to say when he told me i was, 'different from other girls'.
but i didn't. i suppose there was a fine line between sultry and insane.
and that's when it hit me:
i did a disservice to myself by suppressing my "odd".

when norah jones asked for the cool to be removed, i'm pretty sure she simultaneously asked that we layered in our odd.
-because it's chilly out there.
and the world's cruel cold is not for the faint of character.
for every suppressed word, a dream is swept under heavy rugs made of velvet and shame.
for every suppressed move, a kiss chokes and dies in fields of tall sunflowers ... unable to be heard.
for every suppressed desire, a soulmate loses the limbs capable of love.

and if i denied who i was, i would rid myself of

a guy who will sing erykah & cook with me.

someone to teach me how to blow hookah O's, whistle, and cartwheel ...

a man who's amused by my imagination .

a beach buddy.

a guy who's GROUNDED.

someone made of moral fiber & compassionate cloth. 

a humor chemist, boiling & brewing contractions in my tummy that birth laughter.

a guy who doesn't squirm when i pray over my food ...

someone who teaches me.

a healer.

an artist. -whatever that means.

a protector.

a makemepauseandthink-er ?

a seaman-

willing to dive into the deepest corners of my soul & drown if it meant reaching understanding.

a man that lives in between the eyelashes of God - so close that he'd cultivate my spirit in growth.

but for now, the first step is staying true to my puzzle piece. 

she just became my favorite .

for wasting wallflower women.

i absolutely love it when i'm hanging with a guy and he asks, "what are you thinking?"
i love those moments because the implications behind that question can range anywhere from romance to respect.
in case you haven't noticed, we live in a male-dominated society (i am not cranking up the notch on my feminism, it is just a well known consensus). Because of this macho-centric community, the thoughts and theories of most women are ignored or of minor significance. i have seen one too many women being "hushed and marginalized" in conversations among their husbands and/or male friends. therefore, i can appreciate when a man takes an interest in the opinion of a woman.

on a smaller scope,

my personal pet peeves are when people (in general) try to manipulate, undermine, or lie to me. when someone decides that they will discount what i say or what i am feeling, it's a direct insult to my contribution in a conversation, collaboration or relationship. i do not need to be the center of every conversation, but i know when someone attempts to patronize me. i think it is just as important to think as it is to feel. i have no problem acknowledging my feelings as a woman because emotion is what differentiates me from the laptop on which i type.

i find that men have discovered the one way to completely undermine a woman's concerns and feelings. They claim that she's:

"insecure" or "crazy"
they frown their eyebrows and suggest that a woman is "seeing" or "believing" things because she is not confident in herself. they imply that a woman is blinded and sabotaging the relationship. this causes women to second, third, and fourth guess themselves and believe that they're the problem.  if a boy texts his girl by accident and says, "Hey lisa, i had a good time last night ;)" and his girlfriend's name is Tanika...then she's not being "insecure", she's using common sense lol (AND NO I DO NOT KNOW WHY I CHOSE THAT NAME). no woman wants to be that "crazy jealous stalker", so they appease their man's shady behavior.  NOW, some women are extremely jealous and insecure. nevertheless, most women's intuition is on point.

in short, the fore-mentioned tomfoolery is only an insult to my intelligence. playing the "over reacting", "crazy", "insecure" card on me will only make me believe that a man thinks little of me. So little of me, in fact, that some reverse psychology 'wamp wamp' will lower my self esteem enough to take disrespect or dishonesty. ultimately, i am a firm advocate for men liking my mind as much as my physical appearance and spirit. if you take one for granted, you take it all for granted.

- SRD.

Never let the hand you hold, hold you down.  ~Author Unknown

♥

"if you put crabs in a barrel to insure your survival. you gon end up pulling down niggas who look just like you. what up blood, what up cuhz, it's all black . i love us ." - Jay Z [murder to excellence]

the FULL love poem . even better