[aye april]

Dear My Sweet April,

HERE I COME. i promise you won't be disappointed because i'm going to cherish you . i know February & March may throw shade my way and i can't blame them . between me and you, i didn't do them justice . i'll admit it & i dont regret a bit of it . im not disregarding my pasts months, but im focused on you . . . APRIL. maybe i can right wrongs, patch things up, throw away things, kiss things, learn things ? who knows ! STOP it, your possibilities are making me blush . lol

nevertheless, April ... we will have a blast . i pinky swear ! forecasts already predict sunny, tanned occurences and who can be mad at that ? honestly, we havent even met yet, but you already gave me something special ... A FRESH START :]

i realized today that i am NINETEEN years old & it is my duty to take life by storm . im going to live more, laugh more, eat more, work out more, talk more (as if i could lol), listen more, dance more, sing more, apply myself more, love more, grow more, pump emotional iron more, pray more, & jump off of cliffs more . don't let me down April, im counting on you ♥ .

see you soon [you'll recognize me, ill be the one grinning] ,
stevi renee .

quote , end quote .

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more."

- Erica Jong , author .

erykah badu -window seat

i saw this video the other day & felt compelled to post it . it's deep . . . or is it ? lol

pick & choose .

FIGHT .
fight for the life that you want for yourself . i believe that we are more in control than we think we are . i have had this feeling of hopelessness for the past couple of months . i felt like everything was out of my hands, & all i could do was sit back & have God "do his thing" . i think i was wrong . my submission to the adversity of life was cowardly & being idle in life never helped anything or anybody . instead of standing still in life and allowing things to just 'happen', we have to make it happen .

i talked to my sister and i saw myself in her . she worked hard to mold the life she wanted . unfortunately, you cant control someone else's actions & her picture fell apart . sometimes we mold our lives like clay . we mesh, pull, rub, and mend until we have what WE WANT ...we try to quickly dry it ... to keep it hardened and solid . we never imagine that something will come along to make it all break into pieces . that discourages us . it's scary to think that you will have to sweep up the fragments of your work & simply "start over" like nothing happened .

but we can . I'm betting ALL of my chips on the hope that we have to fight for what we want out of life . whether it be for the career we want . the friends we want . the people we want . the marriage we want . the state of mind we want . we always say "it's in God's hands" . true . but we ALSO say, "God helps those who help themselves ." you cannot make someone else be in accordance with your desires . you cannot make someone's mind up for them . hell, you cant even stop God's plan . However, I'm not going to wait around and let life push me into corners . I'll buck back at life ...even if all i do is shift it by a centimeter. ill just shift life centimeter by centimeter until i have it where i want it .

God hurls miracles from such a far distance . the least i can do is walk in his direction to make the distance shorter . my friends, i suggest you learn to fight .

ma'am , why are you this angry ? =X

i dont know who saw this & who hasnt lol . but this big, beastly girl from Baltimore went IN on nicki minaj . she's angry for some reason ...beats me ? lol . SO, im posting this for three reasons :

1. she lowkey got off [cannot lie].
2. the dudes in the background are jokes [jst look at em, smh lol]
3. because she got in the cam & said, "it's bodymore bxtch" and she's scary as hell . im scared NOT to post this . lmbo =/