1.25.2010

social retard romance .


her walk is a dance . yes, she dances with wild flowers and high fields of grass while he stares from the corner of the hallway . her hair must come with one of those 'personal fans' because it always seem to float in the wind . she smiles to a friend and with one arm she hugs . . .while her books balance in the other , so poised . that smile could make a suicidal man think there's somethin' left to live for . her 'it was all a dream' t-shirt makes him smile, but then he realizes that he might look crazy . he straightens his face . he just wants to be her perfume . . .

he continues to stare in the midst of her awe . here she comes . boom .. boomm ... boooombooom boomboomboom BOOM BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM , his heartbeat is connected to the motherland . he opens his mouth to speak and there is a midget in the back of his throat ...holding on tight to sound. all of the one-liners , 'you come here oftens', and suave hand gestures have found their way out of this university hallway . she glides 2 inches by him ...eyes straight forward . 'does she even know i exist?' he wonders ...

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there he is . i wonder if he knows that i re-washed my hair just on the chance that he'd be in this hallway ? ugh . i should've changed . this t-shirt is stupid as hell , 'it was all a dream' . psh , what if he doesnt even like biggy ? he'll probably think , "whaaaat was all a dream?" man . ohhhh , good . a face i recognize . i wonder if he can see me hugging ? do i look like a good hugger? okay focus . focus . look approachable and hug like youre not a social retard . i hope these books dont fall . nothing looks lamer than picking up books off of a hallway floor . i wonder if he thinks i have a cute smile ? wait . is there something in my teeth ? f*&^% .

okay. now i have to walk right next to him . dont fall ... dont fall ... dont fall . look approachable, but dont look at him at all 'cause you'll look desperate . or should i look ? what if he looks at me like im his aunt thelma or something . okay, walk close enough ...but dont bump into him . and will i look slutty if i poke my chest and butt out just a little ? okay whatever, here we goooOoOooo . . . . . wow, he didnt even notice me . does he even know i exist ?

you'd be surprised who knows you exist . the guy that randomly 'likes' your status probably took all day to muster up the strength . the person that reads your blog but doesnt know how to approach you . you'd just be surprised ... maybe they have noticed you too ?

2 comments:

  1. youre right 'ugly' word . but retard is a REAL word used in a different context . and even if it's 'politically incorrect', i would never change my writing because im expressing myself . what comes out comes out ...and im more than fine with taking that responsibility .

    thanks for the feedback :)

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  2. oh ! & 'retard' in my title is meant as a verb, not a noun . look up the word :)

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